My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:

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Made in China (& an apology to the Chinese Government)

Dear Chinese Government,

In a blog post last week, I said this:

“Believe it or not, even this silly, little blog is banned in China. Which makes sense because access to mommy blogs is pretty high on the list of ways to completely corrupt a nation.”

And then I got a comment on that post from my friend in China that said this:

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Honeymooners & Hoosiers

A few weeks ago, I got an email from a dear friend and former college roommate of mine, Genii. We lived together from 2003-2004 while we studied abroad at the University of Leeds in the UK. Despite our incredibly different backgrounds (she is Chinese), beliefs, and a minor language barrier, we became fast friends.

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It occurred to me recently that our kids have been pretty isolated this winter—what with all the infectious diseases, hazardous road conditions, bone-chilling temperatures, and 50-mile-an-hour winds.

You know, all the typical signs of the apocalypse. 

Did you know that Al Gore freezing over is the 5th sign? Let’s just hope he wasn’t in Atlanta this past week or Kirk Cameron will have to make a movie about it. (In case you’re keeping track, that’s a religious, a political, a geographical, and a pop culture joke all rolled into one.)

[Please tell me she doesn’t think Kirk Cameron is representative of current pop culture.]

I just went so far off track I don’t even remember where I was going with this… Oh! Stir-crazy. That’s where I was.

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Kids Shows Getting "Steamy"

If you happen to check out my Facebook or Instagram pages, you’ll notice that there are lots of photos of JJ playing with trains. He eats with his trains. He sleeps with them. He dreams about them (so we learned when he woke up once from a nap and yelled, “train tracks!”). When we get in the car to leave the house he says, “No! I want to go back home and play with trains!” And when we finally convince him that we have to leave the house at least once a month, he says, “I want to go to the store [Barnes & Noble] and play with trains [they have a train table]” or “Let’s find some train tracks.”

Just last night when we told him it was time for bed, he whined, “But I want to play with my trains.” Never mind the fact that we have permanently set up a train track 2 feet from his bed so that he can get his fix at all hours of the night.

Naturally, JJ’s favorite show is Thomas & Friends. I do love that my 3-year-old now says things like “very well, then” and “Mama is cross” with a slight English accent, but I grew concerned about the show when I was invited by JJ to play trains in the basement last week.

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Homemade Laundry Detergent

There are three things I do far better than most women I know:  1) saving money, 2) homemade recipes, and 3) doing laundry.

Wait, no. What I meant to say is that I do them worse. Worse than most women I know.

Worse than all the women. Everywhere. And men. Also, most children over the age of 4.

Shoot, there are probably a few species of primates that could argue their superiority in those three areas as well. But I’m probably better than most primates at arguing, so it would be a very long, cyclical debate.

With lots of mud-slinging.

I have absolutely no idea where I was going with this.

Wait! Good thing I went ahead and wrote out the title of this post. See how smart that was?

[Yes, I think what we’ve all learned so far is exactly how smart you are, Katy.]

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If you’re one of my lovely gentleman readers who is squeamish about “female things,” now would be a good time for you to find something a bit less unsettling to read. Like 2,000 pages of ObamaCare legislation.

Take care, and we’ll see you tomorrow. Or after the next election.

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Does anyone else feel like they’re watching an episode of Days of Our Lives with everything that has been going on with this whole General Petraeus scandal? It’s almost like Days of Our Lives meets Army Wives meets Real Housewives meets The (Married) Bachelor.

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If this doesn’t stir up the patriotism in you, then you are dead inside.

Happy election day! Or, as I like to call it, “The day when we vote for the individual who will bring us one step closer to actually keeping up with the Kardashians.”

Y’all, I am so excited to have this election past us. Can’t we all just go out for a frozen yogurt after this is over and talk about the good ‘ole days when we were free from political corruption and media bias?

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