Guyyyyyyyys, WHERE have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you!
[Huh? Wait a minute…SHE'S the one who didn't post anything for a week! So, why is she looking for us?]
I’m confused. Have you been looking for me?
[Why does she keep having these stupid conversations with herself?]
Have y’all seen my medication lately?
Update: We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen!
“Katie: We need to get together and catch up. There are coffeeshops in Korea… interested??!”
Shoot me a message, Katie, and we’ll pop your prize in the mail. Thanks for playing!
To celebrate the absolute absurdity that has surrounded us all this election year, I decided to join in the nonsense and host a Presidential Giveaway.
So, without further adieu, I present to you the 44th President of the United States — with green hair:
I think our 2-year-old has been watching horror movies without our knowledge.
(How? Isn’t he supervised?)
Well, you know how kids will pick up an iPad or iPhone and flip over to the Netflix app, and it’s about 45 minutes before you realize what they’re watching?
No…no. I don’t either.
Not that you should care AT ALL about the nonsense that comes out of my mouth on a daily basis, but…well, I guess you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t care at all. So, thanks for caring, first of all!
But here are some things you’ll probably never hear me say. I say probably because I sometimes even surprise myself. Particularly when I hear something like, “Come on, kiddos, hop in the minivan! Let’s watch Sid the Science Kid!” come out of my mouth.
This list is by no means exhaustive:
1) “Do you mind standing right behind me while you eat those carrots?”
Captain Morgan (my husband’s name and rank…seriously) and I played a little game tonight we like to call “Identify the Source of that Smell.” Turns out we had several to choose from in the refrigerator.
This is, God willing, the first of many in a series called “How-to Tuesday.” And since this is a mommy blog, and I’m pretty much an expert mother, I thought it was appropriate to give the first instructional video the title “How to be a Perfect Mother” – from someone who knows.
“(Nobody Puts) Katy in a Corner” theme song provided by our buddy Matt Garwood. He’s WICKED good at coming up with original songs. Check him out if you have theme song envy.
Back at the beginning of the summer – when the temperatures were well over 100 degrees for weeks at a time – I purchased three plastic tubs of Black-eyed Susans from our local nursery. That should be the first clue to our savvy horticulturists that I don’t have the slightest idea what I’m doing here. I brought home those beautiful, hearty flowers along with two more tubs of English Lavender (my favorite) with the best of intentions and the highest of hopes – and with at least a 45 minute fail-proof planting lesson from the woman who owns the nursery. Because, as I later discovered, if you’re going to plant something in your yard at the beginning of the summer, you better know what you’re doing. I left out of that nursery so educated and empowered with a minivan full of flowers!
I must have had SUCKER tattooed across my forehead.