Well, friends, I’m back and bedder than ever.
[Typos already. Well, that's what happens when you take two weeks off without writing.]
No, that’s not a typo. It’s an explanation of where I’ve been these past two weeks. Allow me to elaborate…
Brian gave me a Fitbit for Christmas. It’s basically a device I wear on my wrist that tracks my movements (sleep and overall activity level).
First of all, men, I need to inform you that this is an incredibly risky gift for a man to give a woman for Christmas. Particularly if she has struggled with depression.
“Merry Christmas, honey! Here’s a nifty gift that will track how many hours you spend in bed and how stagnant you are even during your few waking moments.”
I just had a flashback to the Christmas where my dad gave my mom running shoes and fluorescent jogging suits. I’ll never forget the look on her face. It’s the look that says, “I know just the perfect place to put this bleepity-bleep-bleep shoe!”
I get so excited about the idea of homeschooling our kids (who are now nearly 3 and 1 1/2). I imagine all the wonderful things I can show them and teach them. And then conversations like this cause me to question my credentials:
As you may have already gathered, my husband is in the military — the Air Force to be exact. But we currently live on an Army Post in Leavenworth, Kansas.
Yup. THAT Leavenworth.
I knew nothing about Leavenworth when we moved here except that they had some prisons — both a federal one and the military one on post. Also, I knew that we were probably as far away from a beach as you can get in the good ‘ole U.S. of A. Unless you enjoy waterless beaches, which I do not. And after his time in the Middle East, neither does my husband.
I have learned in the course of nearly one year here that Leavenworth is actually a lovely town with awesome antique stores, friendly people, a dentist’s office I want to visit daily, and at least one extra-attentive Parking Enforcement Officer.
I’m not bitter…
Not that you should care AT ALL about the nonsense that comes out of my mouth on a daily basis, but…well, I guess you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t care at all. So, thanks for caring, first of all!
But here are some things you’ll probably never hear me say. I say probably because I sometimes even surprise myself. Particularly when I hear something like, “Come on, kiddos, hop in the minivan! Let’s watch Sid the Science Kid!” come out of my mouth.
This list is by no means exhaustive:
1) “Do you mind standing right behind me while you eat those carrots?”
This is, God willing, the first of many in a series called “How-to Tuesday.” And since this is a mommy blog, and I’m pretty much an expert mother, I thought it was appropriate to give the first instructional video the title “How to be a Perfect Mother” – from someone who knows.
“(Nobody Puts) Katy in a Corner” theme song provided by our buddy Matt Garwood. He’s WICKED good at coming up with original songs. Check him out if you have theme song envy.