Quantcast
My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
Worlds of Hurt

Nearly one year ago, Brian and I made the commitment to maintain a weekly date night with each other in order to make time for our marriage and to give us approximately 4-6 hours every week where we don’t have to worry about cleaning up another human being’s feces or vomit.

Oh, sorry. You’re not eating, are you?

I almost always plan our date night activities because Brian never cares where we go “as long as we can be together.”

[Okay, NOW I’m going to be sick.]

Last week I decided to shake things up a bit. I informed Brian that we would forego our usual Italian or Mexican cuisine so that we could dine on greasy, fried food that tasted like it sat under a heat lamp for 3 days. I decided we would skip our usual walking and talking for standing in line and screaming. And we traded our relaxing, adult conversation for eavesdropping on teenage drama. Did I mention that we paid three times our normal date night amount to do all of this?

That’s right, folks. Brian and I went on a date to a Kansas City theme park called Worlds of Fun.

Or, as I like to call it now that I’m over the age of 30, Worlds of Hurt. 

As soon as we walked into this theme park, the sights, sounds and smells took me right back to my childhood. My brother and I spent every summer at Six Flags Over Georgia trying to convince my mom to let us stay for 30 more minutes.

“Pleeeeeeeease, mom! Can we pleeeeeeeeeease ride The Scream Machine 15 more times?”

Brian and I ran to the very first roller coaster we could find like two children whose cool parents just dropped us off for the day. There couldn’t have been more than a dozen people in line, so we hopped right in a car. I plopped my birthing hips into the hard, plastic seat, painstakingly secured my safety belt, lowered the thigh-smashing device, and took a deep breath. I felt 10-years-old again.

Must be This Tall

Only, someone should have told my spine. 

We twisted and turned and flipped and flung our necks into the headrests for 90 seconds before we realized we were approximately 20 years too old for this. Still, we shook it off and pressed on to bigger and better rides.

We were no more than 3 rides into this “romantic” date before we realized that this was not the kind of date night we dream about all week every week. Don’t get me wrong; we had a fun evening together. We truly had so. much. fun.

Date Night at Worlds of Fun

We just complained about it the whole time. 

“I think I just lost a kidney on that ride!”

“Do they have to announce the safety information so loudly on those speakers?”

“I feel REALLY safe with a team of 12-year-olds operating this death train.”

“These seats have ZERO lumbar support.”

“I’m having a problem with circulation in my legs from standing in line so long.”

“It can’t be good that this ride actually has a disclaimer.”

Worlds of Fun Ride Disclaimer

“I should have listened to the disclaimer.”

“I wonder if the gift shop sells ibuprofen.”

“Would you let our daughter out of the house wearing that?”

“I think I may be dehydrated.”

“Ugh. I forgot to put my FitBit into activity mode. I better get credit for all this walking.”

And just when we thought we couldn’t possibly feel any older, we ate dinner in the park. Friends, do you know what is worse than a greasy barbecue sandwich, French fries, and a Coke? I’ll tell you. It’s a greasy barbecue sandwich, French fries, a Coke, and roller coasters.

Sure, we left that meal feeling pretty miserable with ourselves, but we were determined to get our money’s worth. We made our way over to a different type of ride. It was all indoors and was one of these ferris wheel things — only with more spinning and black lights. We made our way to the very front of the line.

Waiting in Line at Worlds of Fun

Suddenly, the “Ride Ambassador” (her actual title) came busting through the big, wooden doors and announced the following:

“Um . . . yeah. Like, it’s going to be, like, five minutes or so. We have to, like . . . clean up something.”

Not even kidding.

I looked at Brian. He looked at me. And we didn’t say a word. We took a deep breath and kept our places at the front of the line.

Welcome back, 10-year-old Katy. 

Sure, I contemplated leaving the ride. I mean, it’s likely that another 30-something-year-old just lost her barbecue sandwich on that ride. But two other things also occurred to me:

1) Someone vomited, and I didn’t have to clean it. That’s what date night is all about.

2) This ride is probably only cleaned when someone excretes fluid. So, I will likely ride this thing at its maximum cleanliness.

At the end of the day, Brian and I waited out the cleanup and rode the ride without losing our dinner. I’ll count that as a date night victory. Additionally, we rode every single roller coaster at Worlds of Fun without once throwing up.

I did, however, throw out my back. 

As we drove home around 10 p.m., Brian and I laughed at how much we have changed in a few decades. I can still remember begging my mom to give me just a few more moments to spend on a ride. I can still remember when roller coasters were the biggest thrill I would experience all summer.

A few decades later, my greatest thrill of the summer looks a bit more like this:

The Thrill of Motherhood

Well, this and the 4-6 hours every week where we don’t have to worry about cleaning up another human being’s feces or vomit.

Long live date night!

Tell me, friends, is date night a big deal in your household? If so, what is your favorite thing to do on date night?

Keep it clean, please. (Looking at you, mom and dad.)

email

Comments to "Worlds of Hurt"

  1. G-Man

    July 3, 2014

    Katy,

    Funny post. Did you notice the look on the face of the guy in the background of the picture you took going up the hill on the roller coaster? (“I think I’ll just do a half photo bomb.”)

    Honestly, I don’t know why y’all need a 4-6 hour break each week from those sweet children. Now your mom and I on the other hand………. 🙂

    On our date nights we always liked to ________________; and we enjoyed ___________; and then of course there was _____________________.

    • Katy in a Corner

      July 3, 2014

      THANK YOU for editing yourself, daddy. By the way I DID catch that creepy half-faced photo bomb. I considered editing him out of it but decided he fit in perfectly with this particular date experience.

  2. Kim Jordan

    July 3, 2014

    Katy,

    I must have missed a post…who is that third child?

  3. Monica

    July 3, 2014

    In the past year the most amazing thing happened at our house – we can go out without a babysitter. “Let’s go to dinner” I say. “Okay” says my husband and off we go. No planning, no paying the babysitter so the only dinner we can afford is fast food. Gives date night a whole new meaning. The flip side is, all too soon my daughters will be challenging our lives with their own date nights.

  4. Kim Jordan

    July 4, 2014

    Well color me red! I read your post you kindly linked for me and I see that I asked the same question at the end of it! It must be the menopause! Just when you think you’ve got your wits back after raising your children, the menopause takes your brain away!

  5. Shea

    July 5, 2014

    I love the idea of weekly date night, but don’t love the idea of a weekly babysitter. How do you go about the weekly childcare for your dates?
    Shea recently posted…Hmm…My Profile

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers: