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My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
I Need a Vacation

There are few things that my husband hates more than packing to go on a trip. He is one of those who would willingly take two screaming toddlers to Walmart on Saturday morning to buy feminine products if he knew it would make me smile. But, when it comes to packing his own suitcase, Brian becomes a bit less super-husband and a bit more…screaming toddler.

“I HAAAAAATE this! Will YOU do it for me? Pleeeeeeeeeeease?”

I know this tantrum well since it’s the same one I give him when I’m faced with a pile of dirty dishes. So, Brian has naturally become our resident Dish Fairy. And I’m our resident Packing Fairy.

We’re perfect for each other.

It’s important to note that I don’t just pack for a trip when I’m packing for a trip.

[That makes exactly no sense at all.]

What I mean is, I don’t walk into my closet willy-nilly, shove some stuff into a duffel bag, and hop on a plane. No, “The Katy Morgan Masterful Method of Meticulous Packing” (KMMMMP for short) involves a two-month-long flurry of activities. I have planned since MAY for our trip to Mackinac Island, Michigan (we leave today!).

Before I go any further, I have to admit that I did NOT have to plan the flights, ferry, ground transportation, accommodations, food, activities, or childcare for this trip. For that, I must give all the props to Brian’s step-mom, Robyn, who spends months (sometimes years) in preparation. She and Brian’s dad are the Trip Fairies. And we are the willing and very grateful recipients of their generosity.

Since Robyn had ALL the important details covered and emailed out months ago, I literally had nothing more to do than pack suitcases for my family of four. Seriously, that’s it.

And it still took months.

2 Months Prior:

  • Check weather.com for historical forecast
  • Become needlessly concerned that it might rain the entire time
  • Search our closets to check for rain gear
  • Find that our rain gear is not adequate
  • Hit the mall to buy rain gear
  • Shop online for educational, age-appropriate toys to keep the kids entertained on the plane
  • Wait by the door for the Amazon shipment(s) of toys to arrive so no children will find them
  • Children discover hiding spot and beg for days on end, “Mama, I love you. May I please have a toy? Please, please, PLEEEEEEEASE?”
  • Give in
  • Hop online to buy more toys
  • Find a better hiding spot when replacement toys arrive

1 Month Prior:

  • Create a “kids’ stuff” packing list
  • Create a “Brian’s stuff” packing list
  • Create a “Katy’s toiletries” packing list
  • Create a “Katy’s shoes” packing list
  • Create a “Katy’s rain gear” packing list
  • Create a “Katy’s makeup” packing list
  • Create a “Katy’s technology” packing list
  • Create a “snacks” packing list

2 Weeks Prior:

  • Check weather.com and discover that rain is no longer in the forecast—at least not as much of it
  • Become needlessly concerned that it might be hot the entire time
  • Return rain gear
  • Buy swim gear
  • Create a “swim gear” packing list

1 Week Prior:

  • Throw away all previous lists
  • Create a new packing list
  • Go to men’s store to buy a suit for Brian
  • Beg them to rush the tailor to get the pants hemmed in time (because we’ve had so little notice and all…)

3 Days Prior:

  • Panic that Brian’s pants might not get hemmed in time
  • Call men’s store every hour on the hour to inquire
  • Search other men’s stores for pants that don’t need to be hemmed

2 Days Prior:

  • Pick up pants that were rushed by the very nice people at the men’s store
  • Go on one last date night before our trip because, “It shouldn’t take us too long to get packed.”
  • Get home from date too tired to pack

1 Day Prior:

  • At 10 p.m. start to panic that we might not get everything packed in time
  • Then proceed to clean out and organize every closet, drawer and plastic container while I pull out items to pack
  • Iron every stitch of clothing in the house
  • Realize that Brian’s new dress shirt requires cuff links
  • Dig under stairs in basement for cuff links
  • Find the kids’ umbilical cord remnants saved in cuff link box
  • Dry heave for an hour
  • Fall asleep dry heaving

Day of Trip:

  • PANIC
  • Tell myself, through exhausted tears, “I guess we’ll have to break down and just buy whatever we didn’t have time to pack.”
  • Spend the entire trip to the airport making a list of things I didn’t pack

3 Days into Trip:

  • Tell myself, “I sure wish we had _________. Next time, I’ll have to start sooner and make more lists.”

Y’all, I may have to get Robyn to pack for us next time. This vacation business is just too stressful.

[This should really be called, “The Katy Morgan Melodramatic Method of Mediocre Packing.”]

[KMMMMP for short.]

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Comments to "I Need a Vacation…from Packing for Vacation"

  1. Rachel Seaton Fish

    July 8, 2013

    Oh Katy!

  2. imklvr

    July 8, 2013

    You are hilarious.  I hope you have a wonderful time regardless of what you did/didn’t pack!  Dona

  3. Pauline Sursattie B

    July 8, 2013

    Try to relax and enjoy your trip 😉

  4. Pauline Sursattie B

    July 8, 2013

    Try to relax and enjoy your trip 😉

  5. ChristyBell518

    July 8, 2013

    This is my life. :). Hope you have a wonderful trip. We leave Friday for ours so I better get to making my lists.

  6. Katy’s Mama

    July 8, 2013

    Katy, you forgot your office supply list. Hope you did not forget post-it notes(in case you need to leave someone a message), mini stapler(to keep all your paperwork together), paper clips(for those things you don’t want to staple),envelopes(for receipts), electrical strip(in case you don’t have enough outlets), & junior legal pads(to list all your expenses). Depending how long your flight is you might want to remember your footstool also. Hope y’all have a great time!! Please post lots of pictures. Love you!!

  7. Alison Atkins

    July 16, 2013

    Packing and unpacking are the reason why I don’t go on vacations. lol

  8. Pauline Sursattie B

    July 16, 2013

    Not fun im leaving tonite for vacay and packing for EVERYONE sucks b***s…ughhh just shoot me now, screw the vacay!!!

  9. Adrienn

    July 16, 2013

    O My…I am a chronic over-packer-list-maker-of-things-I-think-I’ll-need-for-a-trip-but-probably-won’t-need-for-a-trip!  I spent 3 weeks (I guess I’m a rookie) planning and list making for our first camper camping trip…when I opened the file to print my list it was GONE!!! After I came to, I had to wing it and through stuff in bags because of course I didn’t actually GATHER anything ahead of time because my plan was to go through the list and pack.  It’s irrelevant that we survived my manic packing without a list…and I forgot the fly swatter.  THE FLY SWATTER! ON A CAMPING TRIP!  From now on there will be only hand written lists. And I’m buying a fly swatter for the camper.

  10. perthremoval75

    January 31, 2014

    This is brilliant! I get that a lot when I return from travels. Mostly it’s because I don’t want to admit to myself that it’s over. I’m currently trying to make sure the next place I have to unpack my backpack (which has currently been full and carried for a year) it will be somewhere new and fresh so it won’t be so depressing!

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