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My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
Sometimes I think I’m still on the fence about this whole idea of homeschooling our kids (now 2 1/2 and 1). I KNOW it’s what I want to do, I just don’t know if I’m cut out for it.

Here’s why:

I went last…hang on, let me check my calendar…where’s my calendar?

Sorry, it was hiding under my leftover Chipotle container.

Friday. Yes, it was Friday.

I went last Friday with a fellow Air Force spouse on a home school field trip. We visited a family-owned orchard about 30 minutes from where we live on Fort Leavenworth. The kids rode on a hayride, picked apples, ran through the pumpkin patch, and just had a ball out in the crisp, autumn air.

My friend swore she did mention when she invited me that we should bring our own lunches, but I must have wandered off into La La Land during that part of our conversation. I’m going to trust her word on this one since I function slightly less effectively than your typical garden slug.

(A garden slug? What does that even mean?)

So — since we planned to go there anyhow for our soda fix — I grabbed a breakfast burrito for me and JJ (our oldest) from Sonic.

It’s cool, y’all. I checked on it here, and the Sonic sausage breakfast burrito got a D- in terms of nutrition. It did about as well as I did in high school math, and just look how well I turned out in the end!

It’s fine.

We showed up to the orchard, and I met lots of other home school families — many with small armies of children with matching, homemade outfits. I’m not being critical. I’m just jealous. My high school sewing teacher politely asked me to never take her class again.

But — let’s all be honest with ourselves — there are some stereotypical families that give the home school population in general a more “Little House on the Prairie” vibe.

As we all sat down to eat lunch together, I felt myself cringe as I pulled my son’s 4-hour-old breakfast burrito out of it’s incredibly loud paper bag. Why do those bags have to be so LOUD?

I felt the other moms looking at me, and I wanted to scream,

YESSS! I’m feeding my child fast food. Which beats the heck out of the cold, leftover pizza he was going to eat at home!

I felt their eyes on my paper bag.

And I was so ashamed.

One of the moms came over to my friend (who did remember to pack lunch for her kids), and said,

Oh good! You brought homemade food too? I just HATE fast food. We’re gluten free.

Honestly, who does that? Who just walks up to someone they don’t know and says that?

I wanted to say,

Congratulations. You want a gluten-free cookie or something…MRS. PERFECT?

Some people…

My friend swiftly put her hand over the bags of Cheetos she was about to distribute to her kids and said,

Mmm hmm.

We sat there surrounded by dozens of happy, organic, gluten free, hormone-free, free-range kids, and I knew we didn’t belong. We stuck out like sore thumbs.

Across the room a child skipped around his mom and five siblings holding (I kid you not) a huge, raw carrot in one hand and a boiled egg in the other.

I saw the gluten-free glee in that child’s eyes, and, in that moment, I wished I too had boiled eggs of my own. Because nothing would have pleased me more than to chuck one at that kid’s head.

Kidding! Seriously, I’m kidding.

I looked back at my little boy going to town on his ice-cold breakfast burrito and thought to myself, “Oh, man. My poor, poor babies.”

Because when your kids are the outcasts of all the home schooled kids…I just don’t know what that means for their futures.

The good news is that I still have a few years to decide and/or clean up my act.

Excuse me, while I go boil some eggs.

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Comments to "Too Uncool to Homeschool"

  1. Kelley Statham

    October 11, 2012

    Don’t worry, I would have been right there with you! Last night, Emmie had a PB&J, Cheetos, half a baby carrot and some cold black eyed peas – straight out of the can. Those “perfect” kind of people irritate me to no end! Gluten free for your kids? Who does that?

    • Katy in a Corner

      October 16, 2012

      I know! That’s what I thought! Unless there’s an allergy, but that wasn’t the “vibe” I got. Regardless, I think we eat enough gluten for her and her entire family. Just trying to do our part over here. 🙂

  2. Amy

    October 11, 2012

    Hahahahaha.

    Just last week, people were talking about how they never take their kids to McDonalds and I’m all like, “Uhm. We go every week.” It’s Great Grandpa’s favorite place to take the kids and I’m not going to deny him that. My kids aren’t obese yet.

    But really, that picture of you guys is so great! Can you believe it cooled off SO QUICKLY?!? {i’m a fellow Kansas Citian} Brr!!!!

    • Katy in a Corner

      October 16, 2012

      FOR. REAL. Though, it’s been awesome the past few days. I can tell by looking out my window…since I rarely step foot out my front door since I started this here bloggy thing. Happy to “meet” another Kansas Citian!

  3. Brianne Sweetland

    October 11, 2012

    Katy, I love your honesty and imperfections. We try to do the organic, homemade, no antibiotics as much as we can, but tonight we are having pizza delivery. Balance my friend. Sometimes I have to remind myself that balance is the key. No one is perfect at everything (as I am sure you know). If things look too perfect there is usually something lacking somewhere.

  4. susan l

    October 11, 2012

    oh my goodness, i cannot believe someone actually came up to ya’ll and said that! how rude!! don’t tell, but my kids will be eating a lunchables (gasp!) at CC this week, surrounded by all the other homeschoolers. alas…

    • Katy in a Corner

      October 16, 2012

      Susan, you ROCK those Lunchables, girl!

  5. :D

    October 12, 2012

    Maybe you should have gently reminded this “lovely” person that a man (or child) isn’t defiled by what goes INTO his/her mouth, but by what comes OUT! Although she may be guarding what goes IN her and her children’s mouths, she needs to be more concered about the words she allows out! I’d take a cold breakfast burrito eat’n boy (and his mother) to a rude, ugly hearted woman anyday!

    • Katy in a Corner

      October 16, 2012

      Hear, hear!

  6. Laura

    October 12, 2012

    Oh yea, I’ve run across “those” homeschoolers before!! Fortunately, they tend to group together and we found other homeschool groups that contained normal people. 🙂 And, if a Little House homeschooler happened to be in the group, they always were polite enough to not be judgey of the rest of us when we pulled up with McDonalds!!! Hey, if you don’t have a lot of groups to choose from, you could start one!! OMG, I would move to be in your group!!!! 😀

    • Katy in a Corner

      October 16, 2012

      I would SO start a group…as long as there are no meetings. I don’t do meetings. Causal, unorganized get-togethers I do. Just not meetings. 🙂

  7. Katie Robertson Walker

    October 13, 2012

    Completely agree with brianne. And cannot FATHOM someone saying that to you. I know you know that, but I just want to scream– all homeschoolers aren’t like that!

  8. Jennifer Zarifeh Major

    October 13, 2012

    I don’t homeschool. I never wanted to homeschool. I like to shave my legs and armpits. I don’t look good in biblically sanctioned denim jumpers. I like make-up, I’m a redhead so my eyelashes are WHITE. Must.Have.Mascara. I like fast food. Whopper with extra mayo and pickle, hold the onion? Can I get a ‘holla’??
    And have you ever tried to swallow boiled eggs in a hurry? Ew. AND potentially a health/life hazard.
    Next time to see the egg mother, just say “I’m sorry, but we don’t eat hard boiled eggs.Ever since Baby Hoseah-Jeremiah-Uzziah nearly turned purple with asphyxiation, we only eat black eyed peas for protein. They’re Will.i.am’s favourite.”
    And then smile like you mean it.

    • Katy in a Corner

      October 16, 2012

      You know, Jennifer, I hadn’t thought about the boiled egg being a choking hazard thing. And now I feel like an incredible mom. Like I’m saving my kid from a catastrophe. Goodness, you’re funny! Loved the biblically sanctioned denim jumper part. Made laugh!

  9. Shawna

    October 13, 2012

    One time at a home schooling potluck I brought a bag of chicken mcnuggets and french fries. Cuz there was that sale for like 40 nuggets for $8 or something; the kids were wild. It was awesome, my daughter was the “cool kid ” that brought the ” fried chicken.” we were never invited again

    • Katy in a Corner

      October 16, 2012

      I loved this so much. SO. MUCH. Made me and my husband laugh so hard!

  10. Pingback: This Week in Pictures | (Nobody Puts) Katy in a Corner

  11. Stephanie

    October 24, 2012

    Found your blog through “Finding the Funny” 🙂
     
    I’m 22, and I home schooled from Kindergarten through 12th Grade. When I was a teenager my siblings and I often got the response, “You home school?? But you’re so normal!!” 
     
    Also, we were totally the “cool kids” in our home schooling group.
     
    There IS hope. I promise 🙂

  12. krystalbillups

    October 26, 2012

    Haha! You were with my sister, SB! 🙂 She gave me the run down of the orchard this weekend in the van! If she felt awkward, I know I would have for sure!!! She says you and I are two peas in a pod 🙂

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