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My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
Not that you should care AT ALL about the nonsense that comes out of my mouth on a daily basis, but…well, I guess you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t care at all. So, thanks for caring, first of all!

But here are some things you’ll probably never hear me say. I say probably because I sometimes even surprise myself. Particularly when I hear something like, “Come on, kiddos, hop in the minivan! Let’s watch Sid the Science Kid!” come out of my mouth.

This list is by no means exhaustive:

1)  “Do you mind standing right behind me while you eat those carrots?”

2)  “MAN, does it feel good to finish that workout before the sun is even up!”

3)  “MAN, does it feel good to finish that workout!”

4)  “I just wish that person was a bit more vocal about their political views.”

5)  “Yessss! Another season of Keeping up with the Kardashians!”

6)  “There is nothing more attractive than a man in skinny jeans.”

7)  “I can’t wait to hear what the girls on The View have to say about this.”

8)  “I’m just not tired enough to take a nap right now.”

9)  “Honey, I killed the biggest spider today!”

10)  (While driving) “I know exactly where I am.”

11)  “My garden is really looking great.”

12)  “I really don’t want another pair of shoes.”

13)  “Can I swap the French fries for some steamed broccoli, please?”

14)  “Sometimes, I just wish I would speak my mind more often.”

15)  “I’m sick and tired of Law & Order reruns.”

16)  “My name is Katy Morgan, and I AM smarter than a fifth grader!”

17)  “I would never waste my valuable time watching shows like Dance Moms or Toddlers in Tiaras.”

18)  “Ok, son. Thanks for only asking me one time.”

19)  “Ugh. I’m just not in the mood to shop.”

20)  “It was just another quiet family get-together.”

Okay, your turn. What is something we will NEVER hear you say?

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Comments to "Stuff You’ll Never Hear Me Say"

  1. Gman

    September 14, 2012

    Things you will never hear me say would be:
    “Hey, let’s go to Six Flags so I can ride the Free Fall.”
    “Hmmmm, hmmmm, let me have some more of that rutabaga!”
    “Honey, give me a second. I need to run in and ask for directions.”
    “No thank you. I don’t like Cheetohs.”
    “I hope I can get home in time to weed the flower beds.”
    “Get it. I don’t care what it cost.”

    • Katy in a Corner

      September 14, 2012

      Daddy, all of yours just cracked me up. But the last one is CLASSIC G-man. Oddly enough, it IS something you’ll hear my husband say. And that’s probably one of the reasons I married him. 🙂

  2. LaLa

    September 14, 2012

    Things you will never hear Lauren say:

    “How bout them Gators?”
    “I hope you all enjoyed this four-course, from-scratch meal I just made.”
    It’s fine, I don’t need a stool…I can reach that.
    Sorry I’m being so quiet…I’m akward in social situations.
    While driving…I know exactly where we’re going!
    Nap? Who needs a nap? I got 9 hours of uninterupted sleep.

    • Katy in a Corner

      September 14, 2012

      Since I know you, the quiet one made me laugh out loud. Love you and miss you my sweet friend!

  3. Laura @ UrbanMayberry

    September 14, 2012

    Let’s see here……..

    “Don’t throw that sock away!! I can fix that hole!”

    “Honey, can I come with you to the gym?”

    “What time does the football game start?”

    “I’ll take out the trash today!”

    “You want to do the dishes? Oh, no, you don’t, that’s my job!”

    “I’m thinking about a bikini this summer……”

    “Oh, no, just one glass of wine for me!!”

    • Katy in a Corner

      September 14, 2012

      Laura, my favorite is the sock one. Hilarious!

  4. Shana Spears

    September 14, 2012

    “Oh please, turn up your car stereo.”

    “I never really liked shoes from Nine West…”

    “I’m in the mood to do laundry.”

    “Ironing is my favorite chore.”

    • Katy in a Corner

      September 14, 2012

      I’m with you on the laundry thing!

  5. Pam

    September 14, 2012

    Katy, I have been racking my brain and I don’t think there is a thing I wouldn’t say! Love you!

    • Katy in a Corner

      September 14, 2012

      I have a few for you:

      “I just can’t think of anything to say.”
      “It doesn’t matter which side the napkin is on…just as long as everyone has one.”
      “I don’t really have a ‘game plan.'”
      “It’s just adorable to me that your dad doesn’t know where he’s going most of the time.”
      “Sure, I’d love to stop what I’m doing!”

      Mom, honestly, this is way too easy…

      Brian has more, but he won’t let me publish them. 🙂

  6. Robyn

    September 14, 2012

    Here’s mine …
    “My favorite thing to do in the morning is empty the dishwasher.”

    “I’m going to make that Paula Dean fried chicken and cheesy mashed potatoes recipe for dinner tonight.”

    “John, please tell me the escalator joke again!”

    “I am going to skip yoga this morning because I just got sick to my stomach” (HA!)

    Katy, this is too much fun!

    • Katy in a Corner

      September 14, 2012

      Haha! Robyn, one of these days I’m going to have to tell the story about you throwing up in the car on the way to yoga. Classic.

      Also, the escalator joke one was perfect.

  7. Brianne

    September 14, 2012

    “My closets look JUST like yours!” In all seriousness, you need to take a trip to Vegas and organize my closets.

  8. sarah byrum

    September 15, 2012

    Stuff you’ll never hear me say…

    “oh look, no traffic on the Bay Bridge”

    “this show needs at least 15 additional minutes of commercials”

    “why yes, I would love to be in your spelling bee”

    “I really enjoyed blow drying my hair this morning”

    “I wish my hair were a little bit thinner”

    “what’s a lint roller”

    “oh good, the fog is rolling in”

    “yay, I get to move again”

    I could go on and on..haha, so fun!

  9. Rachel

    September 16, 2012

    Ohhh I have several….

    “You know what, I think I’ve had enough caffeine for today, I’m gonna switch to decaf.”
    “I actually like this last bit of pregnancy weight. I think I look good with a little belly pooch.”
    “My kids don’t even watch TV…we spend our days doing only structured, educational activities.”
    “The baby slept through the night every day this week!”
    “I obviously don’t wear yoga pants out of the house unless I’m going to yoga.”

  10. Shawna B.

    September 18, 2012

    oooh! these are great! My personal fave:

    “Sure sweetie, you can have my complete, uninterrupted* attention for as long as you need it!”

    *Note: I am not ashamed that I needed to use spell check on this word. I am not a spelling bee champ.

  11. Pamela

    September 19, 2012

    Stuff you’ll never hear me say…

    “I’m sooooo patient, I can wait until tomorrow!”

    “Yey! There’s no plan and no schedule!”

    “Yes, baby, you can go straight to bed without a bath.”

    “Overnight at grandma’s house this weekend? Sure, I can bring just ONE bag.”

  12. Myriah

    September 25, 2012

    Somehow I missed this post. Mmmm let’s see…

    “Spiders are my favorite!”

    “Oh, I eat broccoli any way I can get it!”

    “Yes! I am thrilled when I get to do a third load of dishes in one day.”

    “Son, please repeat every word I say. It makes my brain happy.”

    “I love the way that canned fish smells. Please come eat it right next to me.”

    “French fries, chocolate, and donuts? Oh, gross! How can you eat that junk?”

    • Katy in a Corner

      September 25, 2012

      Haha! The fish one was my favorite. Brian loves to talk about pilots he flies with that insist on eating canned tuna in the cockpit. The only thing worse than eating canned tuna is doing it in a small, enclosed environment.

  13. Whitney

    October 2, 2012

    Oh gracious….how long do we have here????

    just a few things I will never say:

    “Oh honey, seriously your farts really smell like roses.”
    “Oh dont worry about cleaning up, I LOVE picking up 3,000 toy trucks and legos.”
    “I love changing poopy diapers….they are the best!”
    “Yummmmmmmm…….escargo, just might have 2 servings.”
    “No, I will not go spend all your money at the mall.”
    “I HATE diamonds”
    “I LOVE moving every 2 years, it is so REFRESHING!”
    ” NO, I do not want to spend all day at the spa.”
    “Sure, please go spend our entire life savings on hunting equipment….that would be AWESOME.”

    and finally (to begin and end with my husbands gas….because frankly it is EVERYWHERE)

    “Oh honey, my favorite thing is when you fart in bed and then fan it just so I can REALLY smell it…please do that ALL the time.”

    LOVE YOU KATY!!!!

    • Katy in a Corner

      October 2, 2012

      No, I love YOU. 🙂

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