I think our 2-year-old has been watching horror movies without our knowledge.
(How? Isn’t he supervised?)
Well, you know how kids will pick up an iPad or iPhone and flip over to the Netflix app, and it’s about 45 minutes before you realize what they’re watching?
No…no. I don’t either.
Actually, my husband and I spend our evenings pre-screening PBS shows to ensure the material is appropriate for our children’s impressionable minds. And then after that, we take the rainwater we collect and our compost pile out to the vegetable garden to do a bit of maintenance. Then we come back inside with some homegrown goodies, wash them with all-natural vegetable wash, and chow down on some raw foods.
Nom, nom, nom.
After that we sit and fold cloth diapers while we take turns reading aloud “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle” to each other before changing into our hemp pajamas and retiring for the night under our recycled, bamboo sheets.
Anyhow, let’s talk about the apparent lack of parental monitoring that has occurred here.
Our son started this horrifying habit a few weeks ago. It’s one I can only imagine he learned from “The Shining” or “Teen Wolf” — which, granted, wasn’t so scary — or “Paranormal Activity” or some other film where the children are…horrifying.
Here’s the scenario:
In his most innocent whisper, JJ will lean over to one of us and say, “The moon is shining bright.”
Granted, I just typed that line and read it aloud to myself and it didn’t seem so scary.
But I assure you it is HORRIFYING when you’re driving down the road in the middle of the day, you catch a glimpse of your toddler boy staring at you in the rearview mirror, and he opens his eyes wide and whispers, “The moon is shining bright.”
Holy cow, I just got chill bumps when I typed that!
And when we ask him what it means, he just acts all nonchalant like he didn’t even say it.
The moon is shining bright.
And we’re all,
Aaaahhhh! What?!?!? Why did you say that?
And he’s all,
Hey, Lightning McQueen!
I don’t know what has happened over here. Either he has seen a horror film without my knowledge or this kid has a TWISTED sense of humor.