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The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

Somehow—probably when I was daydreaming of a moving fairy that would unpack the remaining 6,000 boxes at our house—the middle of January snuck up and bit me in the rear. I’m just not accustomed to living in a house surrounded by clutter for this length of time.

Correction: I’m not accustomed to living in a house surrounded by clutter that does not have a preordained resting place. 

I just didn’t want anyone to get the impression that I’m the type of person who has a pegboard in my garage with outlines of the tools that belong in each spot with the tools actually hanging in those spots. Sure, I’d totally have the pegboard with the outlines. Just not the tools in their place.

Because that’s the behavior of a crazy person.

These first few weeks of January have been productive for us, but it has been painfully slow according to the totally unrealistic goals I set for myself every time we move. I assume that it should take me no more than a week to unpack 60,000 boxes. The number of boxes increases exponentially in my mind every time I walk into the basement and see them still sitting there staring at me.

Much to my delight, my mom came to town the weekend before last and helped me pick out blinds for the house. Yes, she drove 3 hours from Atlanta to Birmingham to give me her in-person, expert opinion on faux wood or real wood, white or off-white, cordless or corded, wand or cord tilt, Levolor or Bali, holes or no holes, inside mount or outside mount, cash or kidney…

Kidding. Home Depot no longer accepts kidneys.

Y’all, I had NO idea picking out blinds for my house would require a project management certification, but there were waaaaaaay too many decisions that needed to be made in order for someone to come to my house and put something on my windows to keep me from blinding the neighbors.

[First world pro…]

I know. I KNOW. But that one decision wore me out so much I still haven’t picked up the phone to order them yet.

And this is the part of the story where my mom calls to ask me why in the world I have procrastinated and not ordered the blinds.

And that is when I remind her that she knows me well enough to know that I’m a textbook procrastinator. She even bought me this for Christmas.

The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

And then she’d say, “Have you even used that planner yet?”

And I’d say, “What do you think?”

And then she’d roll her eyes.

And then I’d say, “I can hear your eyes rolling over the phone.”

And then she’d say, “Whatever.”

And then I’d say, “Whatever.”

And then we’d laugh and laugh.

But back to things that actually happened.

So, my mom came to town the first weekend in January and helped me make a decision that I still haven’t fully committed to in writing.

Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow.

The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

Then, this past weekend, my in-laws came to town to see our house and to help Brian accomplish some items on our list.

Let me stop right here and do a completely unpaid advertisement for the Wunderlist app. I love this app for managing lists between multiple people and devices. I can make my own lists and invite people to edit them. Or I can keep my lists private so Brian doesn’t have to watch me procrastinate in real time. It’s my favorite app on my phone right now. LOVE IT.

The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

So, Brian and I have compiled a pretty extensive list entitled “House To Do” that included things like figuring out why there was a puddle of water in our basement that appeared approximately 3 seconds after we purchased the house.

[First world prob…]

Stop it.

Thankfully, my father-in-law is the type of person who enjoys fixing things around the house. He hasn’t once come to visit us that he hasn’t sanded, rewired, or caulked something.

So, while Brian’s step-mom played games with the kids, Brian and his dad accomplished nearly a dozen items on our list while I tried my best to unpack boxes and let them do their thing. These manly men spent two solid days fixing nearly a dozen items on our 11-year-old home.

The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

The most time-consuming and significant fix was the toilet in our master bathroom that was leaking most likely because it had been previously “fixed” with some porcelain glue.

The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

It was also resting on some pennies that my father-in-law assumed were placed there to make it level. Thanks, previous owners!

We’ll try not to spend that $.08 all in one place.

Except we did spend it all at Home Depot. We spent it on a shiny, new porcelain throne.

The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

Isn’t she a beaut? I’ve never been so excited about a toilet before this moment, but I’m thrilled that Brian and his dad caught something that could have cost us thousands if it had gone undetected.

I look at people like my mom, my father-in-law, and even my blogging friends over at Sawdust and Embryos, and I’m amazed by their willingness to just dive right in and get their hands dirty.

Literally.

The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

(Ewww. My father-in-law pulled this out of the evaporator coil in our mini fridge.)

And though I was tempted while writing this post to make “punny” references to my in-laws and toilets, I’ll refrain. I wouldn’t dare post a photo and say, “This crap always happens when my in-laws visit.”

The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

I wouldn’t do that because I so appreciate the time they invest in us. Even though my father-in-law later does crap like this:

The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne

And that’s why we get along so well.

Because we both dish out a lot of crap.

Okay, I’ll stop with the toilet humor. I’m pretty sure my IQ is dropping by the sentence fragment. I’d love to hear your stories now.

What decided to break approximately 3.7 seconds after you moved into your home?

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Comments to "The Procrastinator, the Pennies, & the Porcelain Throne"

  1. Debbie

    January 14, 2015

    We bought our house knowing there were some issues, like the leak in the entry hall. We had the entire ceiling ripped out and replaced for the bargain basement price of $3000. Fast forward 18 months and leaks are still appearing on the ceiling. As another issue (we thought) there were some rotting clapboard on the facade of the house. The contractor who’d replaced the ceiling came to fix it while I went to the gym. When I got home, he said, and I quote, “oh you poor people”. Apparently the builders (of our 2001 home) didn’t put the $.50 weather stripping around the windows or door and water had been pouring in ever since. $14,000, a new facade and paint job, and viola!! No more leak! Easy peasy.

    • Katy in a Corner

      January 14, 2015

      Yikes! Amazing how those little oversights will do some MAJOR damage down the road. Sorry you had to go through that! But your easy peasy comment made me laugh. 😉

  2. Dona

    January 14, 2015

    You should get the Procrastinator of the Year award! Great post, girl, as always! So my story? Not so much anything that went wrong as what we discovered when we bought this house! Loved it so much, it was so perfect, that we didn’t notice there was no coat closet by the front door as in most homes. Then, oh look! There’s no linen closet either! Oh, and the closets in the 2 bedrooms (not the master) are pretty small! Nope, didn’t notice any of that until we were unpacking. But we loved the house so much, we probably would have bought it anyway. Been here going on 4 years and so far we’ve had the plumber out twice (clogged drains, nothing more) and the AC went out once and only needed a small part. (that could have been disastrous as we live in AZ!!) So we consider ourselves blessed. As I am, “knowing” you! Thanks, as always, for the chuckle! Dona

    • Katy in a Corner

      January 14, 2015

      Dona, this is creepy. Because I was unpacking boxes the first week we were here and thought to myself, “How did I not notice that we had NO linen closets in this house?” Kid you not. Thankfully, we have lots of other storage space, but we’re coming up with other solutions for hanging coats by the front door, sheets and towels in the bathrooms, etc. So funny you should mention this. I guess linen closets were pretty low on our priority list when we were looking at houses.

  3. G-Man

    January 14, 2015

    So, I’m reading your blog post about all that your mother, your husband and your in-laws can do and do well. All those DIY projects and the knowledgeable, expert advice and such. Noticeably missing from all this discussion is what your father can do well.

    So I thought I would help you out in case you aren’t familiar with or have forgotten where my true strength lies. After a great deal of thought, here it is…..I can do “nothing” very well. Yep, I can sit and do “nothing” with the very best of them!

    So there you have it. Feel free to call me anytime I can do “nothing” for you. 🙂

    • Katy in a Corner

      January 14, 2015

      Daddy, I’ll admit that I wouldn’t want you wielding any power tools around here, but NO ONE can entertain our kids like you. For hours and hours and hours and hours. And that is as valuable as any other skill. Unless you could entertain the kids by teaching them to replace a toilet. But that’s a bit unrealistic. We’re just happy that you don’t mind a 4-day Candy Land marathon.

  4. Karmen

    January 14, 2015

    The 33-year-old refrigerator died within minutes of us moving in. We had LOADS of other things earmarked for our money, so we quickly bought an inexpensive crash and dent fridge. We eventually had to replace that and then THAT fridge died last winter,all of a sudden, so we are adding on to the house. See how it works? It all starts with the fridge for us.
    Karmen recently posted…You are LovedMy Profile

    • Katy in a Corner

      January 14, 2015

      Karmen, we realized the day we moved in that both our kitchen fridge and the mini fridge in our butler’s pantry have a habit of freezing things without warning. Like a can of root beer that exploded all over the place. Neither fridge can regulate the temperature properly. Good times. It looks like every gift Brian and I give each other from now until forever will include a “limited lifetime warranty.” Nothing says “Happy 10th Anniversary” like a mini fridge.

  5. Cyndi

    January 14, 2015

    The day I closed and partially moved items into my house, I discovered the air conditioning was not working. I moved over Labor Day weekend in Atlanta when the humidity and temperature were fighting each other to reach the highest number – it was a scorcher of a day. Fortunately my realtor found an HVAC guy who agreed to come on a holiday weekend without charging holiday rates so I didn’t have to move boxes into a ridiculously hot house.

    • Katy in a Corner

      January 15, 2015

      YIKES. Atlanta + Labor Day + no heat + moving = Maybe I don’t need to move here after all…where’s the nearest hotel? 😉 Thankfully you found a good Samaritan who didn’t take advantage of your situation.

  6. Monica

    January 14, 2015

    Are you kidding? Our house was built in the 1920s. It’s in a constant state of breakdown. The bathroom had something worse than a toilet tragedy. We had carpet glued to the floor. Imagine, just try to imagine, what was in that carpet??? EEWWWW! Ripping out the bathroom carpet was first on the long, long list of stuff to fix.

    • Katy in a Corner

      January 15, 2015

      I will never for the life of me understand carpeting in bathrooms. That’s a big thing we noticed when we lived in England, and it always puzzled me. It’s like putting carpet on your countertops. It just doesn’t make sense. You’re awfully adventurous to own an older home. My parents do, and their stories were enough to deter me for life. There’s only so much “character” someone like me can handle.

  7. Erica

    January 15, 2015

    Katy! I think you and I were separated at birth! I love your blog 🙂

  8. Amanda

    January 15, 2015

    I work at Home Depot! =)

    • Katy in a Corner

      January 15, 2015

      Cool. Tell Lee in the blinds department to call me. I can’t find my quote. 😉

  9. Amanda

    January 16, 2015

    Well not that particular Home Depot! =) Just give him your phone number he can EASILY find the quote for you =) Service desk person right here haha

  10. Amanda

    January 16, 2015

    Oh and I’m pretty sure he can tell ya that we can come and install them also!

    • Katy in a Corner

      January 21, 2015

      Ooooooooohhhhhhhh yes! The installation charge is what sold me. I couldn’t believe how cheap that was. I still need to call that guy Lee, though. I’ve been stalling on ordering these things for weeks. Must do that TODAY.

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