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My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:

My Dear Family,

Please accept this letter as my notice of resignation for the position of laundress (a.k.a. “Laundry Fairy”), effective immediately.

This was an extremely difficult decision for me to make. It has been an honor to soak and scrub the poop, spit-up, urine, grass, mushed peas, and other mystery items from your wardrobe. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to experiment with varying levels of clothing rot. The twelve-day-old sour smell still haunts me to this day, but I can go confidently into my next adventure knowing that you must first dry those clothes and rewash them in order to truly remove that kind of stink.

Truly, thank you for this experience.

However, as we all know, my skills in the area of washing, drying, folding, and putting away clothes are just embarrassing for all of us. Family, you deserve better. You deserve a professional. And to help you with your transition into a laundress-free household, I have included a listing for several dry cleaners and other fine individuals in the community who will gladly accept payment for their services.

Of course, you are always free to head into the dark, dank basement where the washer and dryer reside and tackle it yourselves.

I can hear your rebuttals already, “But mom, I’m only two! I can’t even defecate in a toilet by myself” or “Mom, at ten months old, I can’t even talk yet – much less decipher laundry settings on a digital machine!” And these are all valid arguments.  However, there is at least one of you in this home who is thirty-something and operates a $92 million machine for a living. So, I’m guessing at least one of you is capable of manning this position once my resignation is final.

In two words:  I. Quit.

Why? Because I hate it. And I stink at it. And also because I hate it.

Sincerely,

The Laundry Fairy

PS – I’m only slightly embarrassed that you can see the shirt I wore during a video I made more than two weeks ago. Can you see it? Hey, this is like Where’s Waldo: Desperately Lazy Housewives Edition.

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Comments to "Letter of Resignation from the Laundry Fairy"

  1. Pam

    September 13, 2012

    I wish you lived closer so I could come and do it for you. The pictures make me hyperventilate! I do have to say as your mother you were taught how to do laundry! Or did Drew do yours while he was cleaning baseboards and sweeping the floors. I think you need to make it a game. Challenge yourself! Pretend it is your closet and it needs to be organized!! Love you!!

  2. Linda foster

    September 19, 2012

    Hey Katy I could be your laundry fairy too! I am very experienced! Just ask my curreny client! Hint….SFC.”..you’re killing me though with the bodily function words!

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