My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
I found a fun, new way to creep out your neighborhood, Starbucks barista!

After my hubby got home from his class this afternoon, I decided to go grab a coffee and head to the grocery store – alone. Believe me, after a cross-country flight to Atlanta and a scream-filled road trip to Montgomery, Alabama, I needed some solo time.

I assert that solo trips to the grocery store are right up there with solo trips to the bathroom when you’re a mom. It almost never happens, and you just want to stay there for hours when it does.

I stayed in Publix for 2 hours. Two. Glorious. Hours.

The people who work there probably thought I was like one of those speed walkers at the mall. The ones who trample those of us who have the nerve to bring a double stroller into such cramped conditions.

Tonight, I was the speed walker who went around taking pictures of random things in the store like this:

The 1980s are now calling to ask for their soda back.

(Did she just steal President’s Obama’s  joke? The nerve!)

Also, check this out, my English friends!

They’re not McVitie’s brand Jaffa Cakes, but they’re close enough for me.

If you’ve never tasted a Jaffa Cake, please do something for me if you ever come across them. Buy them. Eat the entire box. And thank me later.

You’re welcome.

I walked a good four miles inside that grocery store. I worked so hard I even threw my leg up on the conveyor belt at checkout to stretch my hamstrings.

(Okay, now I KNOW she’s full of crap.)

I’m way off track here. Let’s get back to Starbucks. I pulled up to the drive-through and ordered the following:

A grande, decaf, non-fat, no whip, two pump peppermint, two pump mocha, extra hot.

Can you say hiiiiiiiiiiiigh maintenance?

As my mom always says,

I’m not high maintenance, I just know what I want.

It’s a good thing my husband loves my mom. Because it’s like looking at myself 22 years from now. No crystal ball required.

Anyhow, I pulled my swagger wagon around to the pickup window. And as I handed the cashier my swanky Starbucks gold card, I watched the barista skillfully put the finish touches on my slightly specific beverage.

When the masterpiece was completed, the barista walked over to the window and said to me,

Whew! I almost gave you caffeinated coffee. Good thing I caught that!

And – before I could think of how creepy it would sound – I said to her,

I’m glad you didn’t. Because I would track you down at 3 a.m. and fuss at you!

I drove away pretty quickly after that. Just as I could sense the words “restraining order” creeping across her mind.

So, I’ve decided that I should talk to adult people more often. Because our kids don’t yet know any better. And I could use some practice forming sentences that won’t land me with a felony conviction.

Now, I’d like to hear from some of you high maintenance coffee drinkers. What’s your order?


Comments to "I Don’t Get Out Much"

  1. Stephanie

    October 24, 2012

    I LIVE for my solo trips to the grocery store! Once a week, I get up, make my morning coffee in my Tervis Tumbler, grab a breakfast bar that I eat on the way, and then roam the aisles for at least an hour, coffee and coupon book nestled in the top of my cart. I feel like all the Publix guys, who are busy re-stocking the shelves (because WHO shops at 8:30am?!) are all looking at me, saying “Who brings their morning coffee with them?!” Ah, it’s glorious! 🙂

    • katyinacorner

      October 24, 2012

      What kind of bar? I love the Luna peppermint chocolate ones. I think I have a chocolate & peppermint problem.

  2. DesireeMcDougal

    October 24, 2012

    Until I purchased my glorious Tassimo machine whick makes my very own Starbuck Latte at a fraction of the cost… I used to.order a Venti 2 shot vanilla , 2 shot hazelnut , 2 shot cinnamon with whip extra hot. Now I drive to Starbucks once a month and purchase their signature syrups for $7 each in half liter bottles and make my drink at home without the eye roll from my husband in a drive thru.

    • katyinacorner

      October 24, 2012

      @DesireeMcDougal Tassimo machine? What is this magical device? You may have just saved me millions!

  3. Stephanie W

    October 24, 2012

    Grande Decaf non-fat Peppermint Mocha, VERY light on the Whip– just enough to hold the chocolate shavings and pieces of peppermint.  What?  No peppermint.  I will wait for you to crush this candy cane I brought just in case.  Tis the season!  🙂

    • katyinacorner

      October 24, 2012

      @Stephanie W Hahahaha! You bring your own peppermint? I LOVE IT!

  4. Stephanie McClung Wells

    October 24, 2012

    My pleasure. The candy cane on top is so important and they only do it around Christmas!!!

  5. ericatisdale

    October 24, 2012

    Double tall, nonfat (or soy depending on my mood), no whip, two pump pumpkin spice

    • katyinacorner

      October 24, 2012

      @ericatisdale What is double tall?

      • ericatisdale

        October 24, 2012

        @katyinacorner Extra shot of espresso. 🙂

  6. JWaldorf

    October 24, 2012

    Where are you shopping? I want Jaffa cakes!,

    • katyinacorner

      October 24, 2012

      @JWaldorf Publix! Do they have those where y’all are? There’s a whole section of British things. I found all sorts of goodies…shortbread, digestives, etc.

  7. KateHall

    October 24, 2012

    That’s my drink!  Okay, I don’t get the double-pumps or the hotness, but that’s totally my fave.  I’m gonna have to try the pumps.  I CANNOT believe they still sell Tab!  I thought that stuff was outlawed years ago.  It should be because it tastes like something akin to poo.

    • katyinacorner

      October 24, 2012

      @KateHall Kate, I go for the two pumps of each to cut back on the sugar and because it tastes even better to me. It’s not so sickly sweet. Great minds think alike, I guess.

      • KateHall

        October 24, 2012

        @katyinacorner Whoa, I’m gonna have to try that. Seriously, I’m doing it.

        • KateHall

          October 24, 2012

          @katyinacorner I just wrote it down.  Because I wasn’t sure where the pump emphasis should be.  Plus, I don’t want to look like a complete bozo who doesn’t know how to order a drink at S-bucks.  Even though I usually do.  Look like a complete bozo.

  8. Pingback: Keep Calm and Take the Shot | (Nobody Puts) Katy in a Corner


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