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My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
Homeschool Dropout, Elephants

I get so excited about the idea of homeschooling our kids (who are now nearly 3 and 1 1/2). I imagine all the wonderful things I can show them and teach them. And then conversations like this cause me to question my credentials:

(Brian hugs me reeeeeeeally tight.)

Me:  “You’re going to break my ribs!”

Brian:  “That’s okay. Women have an extra rib anyway.”

Me:  “Wait…seriously? I didn’t know that.”

Brian:  “Oh, wow. I’m sending our kids to public school.”

Me:  “That’s pretty hilarious. I’m going to put that on my blog.”

Brian:  “Wait…you may want to Google that first and make sure I’m not wrong.”

And that’s why there should be a strict screening process for parents who plan to homeschool their children.

Is it possible for kids to drop out of homeschooling? Because I have this not-so-irrational fear that ours will do that when they realize that I didn’t completely learn my multiplication tables (curse you, 7’s and 8’s!).

Did I mention that I graduated from college?

I embody everything that is wrong with the American, public school system.

Kids, if you’re reading, just go ahead and learn those multiplication tables and fractions. Trust me on this one. I’ve ruined many a cake in my day.

Truthfully, I’m concerned because our two-year-old already runs circles around me technologically.

Homeschool Dropout, iPaci

Just ignore the pacifier. We plan to wean him after he learns fractions.

And the baby…well, she has me beat in the strong will department (and that’s no small feat).

Homeschool Dropout, Tantrum

This, my friends, is an aerial view of a 1-year-old tantrum. I like this photo because she looks like she’s sleeping so peacefully on that rug.

This was after she slapped me in the face.

Sooooo looking forward to hormones. Can’t. Wait.

Fortunately, Brian and I are determined to teach our kids something valuable at home. Like fitness.

Homeschool Dropout, Exercise

Notice both kids are still in pajamas. I’m pretty sure this was taken close to dinnertime.

Fortunately, we’ve had more success teaching our kids Biblical truths. This little Bible is fantastic.

Homeschool Dropout, Rhyme Bible

It’s the perfect length to get across the concepts within a toddler attention span. Which, interestingly, is very similar to that of a gnat.

I feel we’ve made great strides in the Bible teaching department. Until conversations like this:

Brian:  “J.J., what did God create on the second day?”

J.J.:  “Train tracks!”

Fortunately, we have Thomas the Train to teach J.J. all about socialism. So, we’ve already excelled in the social studies department.

Aren’t y’all glad I didn’t decide to make teaching my career? Because then I’d be responsible for teaching a lot of kids that women have one extra rib…because God took one away from Adam and gave it to Eve.

Note to parents:  The storybook pictured above does NOT include the whole extra rib conundrum. I already checked.

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Comments to "Homeschool Dropouts"

  1. Kate Another Clean Slate

    March 20, 2013

    This was fun to read- if I had kids I’d let you homeschool them 😉 Life lesson matter most!

  2. Rachel Seaton Fish

    March 20, 2013

    So funny, I needed that laugh!

  3. angelashelton

    March 20, 2013

    So freaking cute!!

  4. Karen

    March 20, 2013

    So cute.  I like (no Love) how you incorporate your humor AND still include sweet pictures and anecdotes of truth and life.  I’m a fan of this blog.  Thanks!
    http://karen-mamatobe.blogspot.com

  5. Phinesley

    March 20, 2013

    If you do plan to homeschool I  suggest you teach your children about fractions.  Sewing this week I was trying to figure out how to translate 5.60″ to my yardstick. G-Man tried to help!   Don’t know why my embroidery software figures my measurements in 10ths but the ruler is sectioned off in 8ths or 16ths.  In this case it is just best to guess! 
    Love all the pictures!  J.J. sitting at the computer with a paci will be one for the scrapbook.  I do believe I can see Averi cutting her eyes at you from the floor.  This is a postition you should know well.  She will grow out of it by the time she is 10, maybe!

    • katyinacorner

      March 20, 2013

      Phinesley Mama, when did I grow out of it? And don’t get all sarcastic on me now. Give me some hope. 🙂

  6. KateHall

    March 22, 2013

    I love the Rhyme Bible! I take homeschooling one day at a time. I was so thankful when my 8yo recently learned to read because I was getting a little worried – Am I doing it wrong??? At least now I’m not so worried for my 7yo who has no interest, while my 3yo is already beginning to write her letters. Go figure.  It’s a lot of fun learning right along side my kids because there is so much I forgot or did not learn the first time around – particularly when I slept through history class. And Google is WONDERFUL.

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