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My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
Going Viral

“I realized somebody oughtta make an alarm clock that sounds like a baby barfing. ‘Cuz you know what? There IS no snoozing’.” —Bill Engvall

I generally give you a chance to finish your breakfast burrito before I throw a vomit quote out there all willy-nilly like that, but I figured this was the best way to kick off my post-Thanksgiving wrap-up.

Get it? Burrito. Wrap-up.

[Someone get this comedic genius her own TV show.]

Two days before Thanksgiving I got a text from a dear friend of mine, Rachel. And I want to add here that she was first a reader of mine and then became a meet-for-coffee-and-lunch kind of friend. I try to avoid this situation at all costs because it immediately dispels any coolness I may have once people meet me face-to-face.

[Oh, I didn’t realize there was an illusion of coolness here at all.]

I’m already off track.

My sweet friend Rachel texted me from the ER with the following caption and photo of herself:

Going Viral

This was her nice way of saying, “You’re a hypochondriac who loves to visit the ER, and I decided to follow your lead today.”

Except she really was VERY sick. And I seem to go to the ER mostly when I run out of cold medicine and the pharmacy is closed.

[Has she never heard of Walmart or a 24-hour pharmacy?]

Let’s just say that not everything in Leavenworth, Kansas was open 24-hours. Except I think the Walmart was. And now I feel silly for not considering that before this very moment. Almost TWO YEARS later.

Seriously, y’all quit getting me off track.

So, I had this conversation with Rachel who was at the ER with a serious case of strep throat AND a sinus infection, and I couldn’t help but think that it sure stinks to be her. THANK GOODNESS I wasn’t sick during Thanksgiving.

I’m sensitive like that.

Fast forward to three days after Thanksgiving, and we were still at my family’s mountain house in North Georgia. We woke up Sunday morning to leave, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t pregnancy. It wasn’t a sweet potato coma. And it wasn’t the 4 tablespoons of bourbon I put in my chocolate pecan pies this year. No, this was viral.

And I don’t mean the kind of viral that a blogger wants to be.

Five minutes after we awoke on Sunday morning, Brian and I were both in separate bathrooms undoing any of the holiday, caloric damage we had done that week.

[Is that supposed to be less disgusting than using the word vomit?]

I’m sorry. But it was BRUTAL.

Between trips to the toilet, we somehow managed to pack up all of our belongings and make the 3 1/2 hour trip back to Birmingham alive. Though I suspected a virus, I also thought it may have been some sort of food poisoning. I’ll interject here that the worst part of suspecting food poisoning after Thanksgiving is all the finger-pointing that inevitably takes place.

“Well, I’m not so sure it wasn’t Aunt So-and-so’s squash. It sat out a while. Maybe THAT’S what made us deathly ill.”

Though we weren’t certain where it originated, our illness was short-lived—praise the Lord!—and Brian and I were finally able to function by Monday afternoon.

Then, Tuesday morning at 4 a.m., we awoke to the most horrific scream coming from the kids’ bathroom. Brian and I BOTH jolted out of bed, which tells you just how terrible this scream really was. What I mean is that Brian and I have a deal. I nursed our children for 9 and 6 months respectively, so Brian gets to do the middle-of-the-night thing for the 17 years or so after that.

Kidding.

(Not kidding.)

We ran into the bathroom to find Averi on the toilet with her pajama pants around her ankles. She was in such hysterics that she was dry heaving. In the 4 a.m. fog, I couldn’t quite figure out whether she was sick or had just been sitting there for a long time calling for someone to wipe her bottom. As we cleaned her up and got her back to bed, we realized it was both. Not only had she tried for a very long time to wake us, but also she had a 103 degree fever.

Brian calmed JJ, who was horribly confused by all the screaming and running around, while I took some cool washcloths to Averi’s pulse points in an effort to bring down her fever (a trick I learned from an ER nurse, thank you very much). After 30 minutes or so, we managed to bring down Averi’s fever and get them both back to sleep.

Now, if you’re a mom or a dad, I don’t need to tell you what happened next. I climbed back into bed, turned to my most comfortable position, and managed to lay there WIDE AWAKE for hours. I couldn’t get to sleep no matter what I tried. I had a glass of milk to calm my stomach which was hungry by that point. I went to the restroom a few dozen times.

[Apparently, this is TMI day.]

Nothing worked.

And as I stared at the wall just waiting for sleep to return, I caught myself doing something strange. It’s something I hadn’t really given much thought to before that moment. As I laid there in a state of insomnia brought on by the sound of baby vomit (technically dry heaves), I realized that I was actually drafting this very blog post in my head. I’m serious, y’all. I was piecing together paragraph after paragraph of all that had just transpired.

As if I was crafting the next Great American Novel. 

[Oh, you mean that Great American Novel about baby vomit? Yeah, I remember that one. It’s a classic.]

I don’t fancy myself a Nobel Laureate by any stretch, but I am so grateful that you all let me share my stories with you. I certainly don’t take your time here for granted. You don’t have to read my blog, follow me on social media, or “like” the copious photos of my kids, but you do. You really don’t have to send me encouraging emails, Facebook messages, or comments, but you do.

I know I could journal our daily life privately and that it may serve a similar cathartic and nostalgic purpose. But I seriously doubt I would lay awake at night thinking of just the right way to write it. That’s the joy that comes from doing something I love with a community that supports me.

[Okay, ball of emotions. Someone needs to lay off the bourbon pie.]

I didn’t get the chance to write a formal Thanksgiving post because I was too busy baking Bourbon Chocolate Pecan Pies that no one really liked, so here it is:

I’m THANKFUL that, though we didn’t close on our house as scheduled this past Tuesday, we still have a warm, comfortable place to stay until we do close (tomorrow, Lord willing).

I’m THANKFUL that Averi’s sickness is manageable and that she’s generally a healthy little girl. I’m thankful that even in the midst of her discomfort, she loves to get extra snuggles.

Going Viral

I’m THANKFUL for you, my readers. The ones who read all the way down to here. After I’m not making any more sense. And I’m writing sentence fragments. Thank you for your time and encouragement. You’re a huge blessing in my life because this blog would just be a lonely journal without you.

Now, if you’ll please raise your slice of Bourbon Chocolate Pecan Pie, and let’s toast to many more Thanksgivings together without food poisoning!

[Raise your hand if you think Katy gave herself food poisoning with those pies.]

Y’all, I’m not so sure that didn’t happen.

Still, it seems like everyone was sick this Thanksgiving. Am I right? Please tell me it wasn’t just my pie.

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Comments to "Going Viral"

  1. Katy's Mama

    December 3, 2014

    It is scary how much we think alike. I have been laying here in bed (between my bouts with running to the bathroom) thinking if maybe something I made has gotten everybody sick. I did leave the cheese out to soften, then ran out of time, put it back in the frig, only to soften it the next day and bake the cheese straws. I still have some left. I was going to test them out on your Dad and see if he gets sick again. But then I would feel bad since he already missed playing golf with Drew on Monday. And we missed the annual Haymore Christmas party. I guess we will never know. Maybe that can be a new H.I.T. event in July. Ask everyone who got sick to list everything they ate and then have a process of elimination. Trying to remember what we ate would be the real test. Hope Averi is feeling better soon.

    • Katy in a Corner

      December 3, 2014

      You crack me up, mama! I seriously doubt it was your cheese straws or anything else we ate. I say this with confidence since JJ has decided to get ill this morning. Poor kid. Get well soon so you can come over here and help me pick out interior paint colors. 😉

  2. Christy Bell

    December 3, 2014

    Ok, 3 things.
    1 – I absolutely LOVE when I get the emails letting me know you have made a post. I am not sure if that makes me pathetic or what. Lol, but seriously, it makes my day. So no pressure or anything, but just know that when you don’t post for a few days, there is a sad mid 30ish girl in Georgia. But again – no pressure.

    2. No, your sweet family was not the only ones sick. I had a sick 11 year old girl. Preteens are not fun when they are well. When they are sick, it’s even worse. We are not sure if it was something she ate or just a bug. Either way, it was gross. She seriously was face timing (thank you iphone) with a friend and left the room to go vomit (thankfully she put the kid on mute). Let me explain that while I love my children dearly, vomit is something that I really have a hard time with. So I am so very thankful that she is old enough for me to stand in the door and check on her. She is finally old enough to hold her own hair back. Did I also mention that I am in the running for mother of the year?

    3. This is a warning – The remainder of this post will probably be TMI. Actually, the remainder of this story will most definitely be TMI. – Not only did I have a pukey kid (yes, that is an actual word…well at least in our house) I had a husband who was sick. Now let me explain something, this was not a normal sickness. I have a big strong husband. He can lift heavy things, and take out ALL of our trash. He can work on cars, electrical things, and cut grass. That last one is a big thing in our house, because ’round here, girls don’t cut grass. But I digress…. So, I have established how manly and tough he is, but do not let him get sick. I repeat, do not let him get sick He came home sick. With a hemorrhoid. Or so we thought. (Yuck) We treated it, but it kept getting worse. (Double Yuck) So after 7 days of this and things getting progressively worse, we decided to get a professional opinion. (I know, I know, you are surprised that I am not a doctor) So I am sure you know how super-duper easy it is to get a last minute appointment on the week of Thanksgiving, right? We end up at the Gastrointestinal doctor, being worked in. Which, for a man who cannot sit down, stand up or lie down without being in extreme pain, was NOT fun. The dr sent us straight to the ER on account that it was not a hemorrhoid. oops! It was however, a severely infected abscess. (OMG Triple Yuck) Now after, 5 days, 4 different antibiotics, 3 ER visits, 2 times of draining it, countless bandage changes (vomit), and a partridge in a pear tree later, we are finally well! Notice I said “we”. It was a joint effort. Especially seeing as though he could not change his own bandage. I know that in marriage, you do not keep score of who does what. Well, you aren’t supposed to. Well, I guess you aren’t supposed to. BUT if we were, I would definitely be in the lead. By leaps and bounds. So let’s just say, I expect something great from Santa this year. Lol, I am kidding. (No I am not).

    Hope my story helped 🙂

    • Katy in a Corner

      December 5, 2014

      This is pretty much one of my favorite comments ever. Brian and I were talking about it yesterday in the car (we needed a good laugh at your poor husband’s expense). In all seriousness, I hope he’s doing much better. And that he never reads my blog and discovers your comment. 😉

  3. Kathy

    December 3, 2014

    Katy, I found myself wondering about the food issue, too, but I feel certain it must have been viral since there was fever involved. I had a fever, you seemed to have one as you sat there freezing Sunday morning, Averi had a fever… But I do like your mama’s idea of the HIT event of listing what we ate and determining the culprit food by process of elimination. 🙂
    Loved being with everybody,
    Aunt Kathy

    • Katy in a Corner

      December 5, 2014

      I think we all got a little worried about the food. Thankfully, most of us are getting better. We found out yesterday that the kids have ear infections. So that explains their issues this week. I’m still not sure what happened to me and Brian. Hope you’re feeling much better! Love you!

  4. Monica

    December 5, 2014

    Poor, poor baby! She looks miserable. When my middle daughter was her age, she vomited every time she spiked a fever. Nothing worse that throwing-up!! I hope you’re all feeling better today.

  5. Susan Schlacks

    December 5, 2014

    Loved your post, Katy….well, if one could say they loved eye-witness accounts of major intestional eruptions! And equally so, I loved your mom’s post about trying out the possibly suspect food on your dad—just to see if it really was suspect! What she has to be prepared for, however, is the total breakdown of any and all “manliness” if he does get sick.

    I love my husband, but a hangnail is a 30-minute diatribe of details. And, lo, if he gets the sniffles, I may as well videotape the whole 2-hour Hallmark Christmas special, because there will be no peace until I hear the (literally) “blow-by-blow” account of his stuffy nose malady. (Your puns are rubbing off on me!)

    Hope all are recovering quickly. I am eager for you to post that bourbon chocolate pecan pie recipe. Sounds like a good way to get through the cold, snowy weather back up Kansas City way. At least I think it would be a good way to keep the innards heated up!

  6. Dona

    December 12, 2014

    Just got home from 2 weeks visiting family in CO, so I’m late to this party. But so glad I didn’t miss it! Your post…..fabulous as usual. Christy Bell’s post/comment? Equally fab! And I’m with her on seeing the notice in my email that you have a post for me to read. I’ll bet that all of your followers are just as thankful for you as you are of us!!! Have a wonderful, and HEALTHY, Christmas! Dona

  7. Pingback: Breaking and Entering - (Nobody Puts) Katy in a Corner

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