My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
Gender Reveal

Last Wednesday I had my first appointment with the doctor who will, Lord willing, deliver our 3rd child on (or hopefully very close to) March 30th. It’s currently November, and I hadn’t seen a doctor since August. Unless you count Dr. Doogie Howser who saw me in the ER after my flu shot. I didn’t talk much about him in my post, but I’m pretty sure he graduated from medical school approximately 15 minutes before he walked into the exam room.

And I know some of you type-A personalities would freak out if you had to wait 3 months for an ultrasound, but we had no choice. In three short months, we packed up our entire lives, left Kansas, semi-moved to my in-law’s place in Georgia, left the military, looked for a new job, found a new job, semi-moved into a corporate apartment in Alabama, found a house, and then found a doctor.

Basically, I’ve been sitting on my pregnant butt eating cheese dip and watching Judge Judy since August.
[She seems like the Judge Judy type. Also, the cheese dip type.]
I could seriously go for some cheese dip right now.

Though I’ve only been to one appointment, and though I had to wait TWO HOURS to see her, I’m already thrilled with my obstetrician here in Birmingham. She was well worth the wait — partially because I’ve heard wonderful things about her from others in the medical industry. The other reason is because her office had toys for the kids in the waiting room and snacks for everyone.

You had me at hot chocolate. 
Thankfully, Brian, JJ, and Averi were able to take part in this appointment. We recently told the kids about the pregnancy, and they have been ecstatic ever since. I could hardly wait for them to see this baby “live” and in living black-and-white, hard-to-discern images.

Gender Reveal

They couldn’t have been more unimpressed.

I’m not sure what I expected. I hardly recognize most of the body parts until the stenographer points them out to me, and this is my fourth pregnancy.

Gender Reveal

Add to that a two-hour delay, and I completely understand their lack of interest.

Still, Brian and I were thrilled to see our baby’s strong heartbeat, those very mobile limbs, and whatever this face is:

Gender Reveal

Sometimes when I’m bored I’ll send this photo to Brian and say, “I’m watching you.”

[Am I supposed to know what that is?]
This may help.

Gender Reveal

[That poor baby boy/girl.]

Okay. So, let’s talk about gender.

Brian and I have never had a preference when it comes to the gender of our children. Before we knew Averi was a girl, we thought it might be fun to have a girl since we already had a boy. And way back then we weren’t sure how many children we would actually have. So one boy and one girl seemed like a great idea. Still, we would have been thrilled either way.

Now that we have one of each, Brian and I decided that it REALLY didn’t matter to either of us whether we had a boy or a girl. Another boy means that Brian is one step closer to that boy band he always wanted. And another girl means that we’re one step closer to that roller derby team I always wanted.

(I don’t know, y’all. It was the only thing I could think of — except for something about the Kardashian women, and I’m pretty sick of hearing about the Kardashians lately.)

Gender Reveal

Talk to the hand, Kimye.

And now for the point of this post:  Brian and I decided that we wouldn’t find out the baby’s gender this time.


I know.

Correction:  We WILL find out the gender. It just won’t be until the baby is born.

And if you listen very closely, you can still hear the rustling of paperwork as my mom writes me out of her will.

Yes, our decision to wait has been a disappointment to my mom. She’s convinced that we’re doing this just to drive her crazy. And no matter how many times I try to reassure her, my mom won’t believe that driving her crazy is just ONE of the benefits and not the entire reason for our decision.


Seriously, this uncertainty is a different kind of torture to a woman with an embroidery machine and an insatiable desire to monogram things. I assured her that she would be more than welcome to bring her embroidery machine with her to Birmingham after I have the baby. That way she can monogram up a storm between cooking meals and babysitting the kids.

I’m pretty sure I got “the look” after that.
So this is where I need your help, dear readers. Please leave a comment below and help me convince my mother that waiting to find out the baby’s gender is the most exciting and wonderful thing since the advent of . . . the ultrasound.

[That makes absolutely no sense.]


Comments to "Gender Reveal?"

  1. Susan T

    November 18, 2014

    Of course it’s the most natural and normal thing to do. Did your mom know the sex of the baby when you were born? Actually, I thought that was part of the fun…….guessing!!! I can see both sides, but I guess I’m a big old fashioned. 🙂

  2. LLL

    November 18, 2014

    Hesitate to annoy a grandmother but stay in the dark!! Choose not to find out gender of my babies, made that first “birthday” even more exciting!

  3. Laurie

    November 18, 2014

    Congratulations on surviving the last few months and your pregnancy. Love your blog and your humor!

    We had our children when ultrasounds were rarely used unless there might be a problem so didn’t find out the sex until they were born. We loved the anticipation and it gave me something to focus on during labor. It was also a time when most, if any, baby showers were small and simple so no one expected to fill the baby’s closet or decorate the baby’s room with shower gifts that reflected the baby’s gender. I always think it’s kind of neat when couples wait to find out.

  4. LaLa

    November 18, 2014

    I’m so proud of you!! I wanted to be surprised during our last pregnancy and Josh convinced me there was no way my type-A, controlling personality could handle it. I think he was right…
    But I always wanted to do that. Stay strong! Precious will love her/him no matter what 😉

  5. Heather Schmitt

    November 18, 2014

    I am so proud of you! I know that whatever this baby may be–boy OR girl–it will be one of the most loved children on this planet.

  6. G-Man

    November 18, 2014


    I was all prepared to send a response supporting your decision to wait. I like surprises. But then the weather decided to drop its temperatures into the teens. It’s just too cold to sleep outside so I agree with your mother. 😉

    • Katy in a Corner

      November 18, 2014

      Daddy, you’re smarter than I tell people. 😉

  7. Katie M

    November 18, 2014

    I also am hesitant to disagree with a grandmother but I have to say I wish I had waited to find out the gender on BIRTHday with one of my pregnancies. That day is already so filled with joy and anticipation that I can’t imagine that labor room when they exclaim that it’s a boy or a girl! 🙂 What a moment! Maybe let Precious up close and personal and tell her she can be the very FIRST to see what the gender is

    • Katy in a Corner

      November 18, 2014

      My sweet mama got to be “up close and personal” for JJ’s birth, and I think she got her fill. She opted to stay with JJ during Averi’s birth. There’s only so much of a daughter in labor that a mother can handle.

  8. Dona

    November 18, 2014

    Hehe…your dad is the best! Yeah, I agree! You’ve got one of each, so it’s not going to be THAT much of a surprise! And your mom can still embroider things!! ‘Baby’, ‘Angel’, even Princess, then just pick out the ss if it’s a boy! Nice try, huh? Love you guys! Dona

  9. Marguerite

    November 18, 2014

    I LOVE your blog….AND your Dad! LOL! Best wishes for all your wonderful blessings!

  10. Mindy

    November 18, 2014

    I can tell you, from personal experience, that ultrasounds don’t always reveal the correct gender anyways! Multiple ultrasounds by two different doctors told us we were having a baby girl with our second. But, at 38 weeks, I casually mentioned to my doctor that I had such a strong feeling that the baby was a boy. He obliged with another ultrasound, revealing that indeed, my baby was another boy! I knew there had been a reason I was so hesitant to wash all of those pink items!
    So now I sit here, days away from delivery to our third. Because of our experience, my husband and I found out the gender, but have kept it a secret until delivery. It has been a fun secret, but I’m about bursting at the seams! Honestly, even though I have been told multiple times, I’m still not going to be convinced about anything until I see this baby in person with my own two eyes!
    Plus, third baby deserves a little excitement and eager anticipation!
    Best of luck to you….

  11. Ashley

    November 18, 2014

    Oh no!!! You are in BIG trouble with your momma!!! Haha! I know Aunt Pam is stressing out big time! I told my mom that I am not going to find out whenever I have kids and she flipped out and my mom is no where near creative like yours lol!!! I think it will be special to wait it’s the only surprise you get except when Brian buys you diamonds right before you push!!! 😉 All I can say is I can’t wait till March 30th!!! Love you Katy!!!

  12. Jamie W

    November 18, 2014

    I say wait. It’s so awesome! I had three boys (one singleton and a set of twins) 15 months apart. We found the gender out as soon as we could with those pregnancies. When I had an oops a couple of years later and got pregnant again, my husband and I knew FOR SURE that this would be our last kid. So, we waited to find out. And, yes it drove our families crazy. Not knowing adds another layer of excitement and anticipation to the delivery room though. It was a boy btw. 🙂

  13. Beth

    November 18, 2014

    I didn’t find out what mine were in 1998 and 2001. Didn’t even have an ultrasound for the second. I think it makes it way more exciting!

  14. Julie

    November 18, 2014

    My 3rd just turned 6 months old yesterday and we had chosen NOT to find out with her. We had a few reasons for not wanting to know: -Moving across country 2 weeks after she was born (so no nursery to decorate). -having 2 boys already I didn’t want to hear all of the negative comments about having 3 boys… I got so many when it was just the 2. -Lastly, it was so extremely fun at the delivery! (Plus it drove our families nuts-what an added bonus!!) We thought for SURE that it was another boy. We call her “he” through my whole pregnancy. Oops. I even thought that the ultrasound tec had slipped and said “he.” (She may have been messing with me…) Anyways, it was such an amazing experience and focused my heart towards praying for health/who they would be, instead of longing for a specific gender.

  15. MC Halas

    November 18, 2014

    Tell precious to calm down, then tell her if it’s a girl you will name her Pam… Maybe that will work.

  16. Cheri

    November 18, 2014

    Here is my reasoning. If I ever have baby #6… Yes 6!! I am past the point were people get excited that I had “another” baby. So to up that excitement level and possibly get people out into the waiting room anxiously waiting while I deliver. I am not going to tell anyone the gender. Everyone who isn’t opposed to big families keeps asking when we are going to have another boy to help farm. It’s funny our oldest girl enjoys the farm work. Our boy hates it! So I’m thinking I’ll drive just more than my mom crazy!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
    Our two oldest are boys and then four girls. We lost the oldest son to the war in Afghanistan. My kids are fairly spread out ranging from 19 to 4 years old. James jr would have been 24 and is technically my step son. We think we may start trying the begining of next year. Depending on what the country does with health care…

    • Katy in a Corner

      November 18, 2014

      Cheri, you’re a warrior mom — in every sense of the word! I say bring on baby #6!

  17. Katy's Mama

    November 18, 2014

    Well it looks like I am outnumbered. I have searched those ultrasound pictures and still can’t see what it is. I am considering hiring a professional to look at it for me. I think it would be fun for ME to know and have everything ready for her arrival. I think I could keep the secret!!!

    • Katy in a Corner

      November 18, 2014

      HER? You think it’s a girl? And let’s not even talk about you keeping a secret for that length of time. I think you would do physical harm to yourself with that much internal pressure. I love you so much, mama. And I can’t wait to call dad and tell him the gender from the hospital so he can know before you. 😉

  18. Katy's Mama

    November 18, 2014

    Here is the GAME PLAN. I plan to be at the hospital so I will be the first, maybe 3rd to know. You will be in too much pain and not care after delivering so I will get to tell EVERYONE!!! I think that is a fair trade off for making me suffer and wait!!!

    I need to ask your technical person(Brian) to fix the website so it will recognize me when I start to type. Does everyone have to type in all their information before they can leave a message?

  19. Shawna Bennett

    November 18, 2014

    the ONLY reason we did a gender reveal on our second child was for the benefit of our first child. I thought it was a boy, so our daughter was excited for a baby brother. When she found out that she was getting a sister instead, she was disappointed. I said, hey, at least we have 5 months to change her mind!
    (It worked btw)
    As for your mom, here’s what you do: write her a letter telling her how much you love her, she supports you, she respects your decisions, blah, blah, blah. Also tell her you want to keep her happy. Have the nurse include the gender in an envelope. Seal the envelope. Give it to your dad. Tell him that the gender is inside and that you and Brian do not want to know what is in that envelope before you deliver. Have your dad give the envelope to your mom when he thinks she is ready. Ie, about 30 minutes after your contractions have started.

  20. Kacy

    November 18, 2014

    When my second grandchild was born, we experienced great excitement – more than we were prepared for! During the pregnancy, my daughter-in-law had three sonograms, each one determining that we were going to welcome sweet Elizabeth into our family. Well, instead, we welcomed Isaiah, a wonderful, great addition to our family! So do I think you need to find out BEFORE the baby arrives? Not so much – otherwise you might be returning girlie clothes to Belk and painting a room from pink to something more neutral! You will be blessed beyond measure regardless! Love you, Precious – just have the monogramming machine ready to go when the baby is born!

    Congratulations Katy, Brian, JJ and Avery – such joy ahead of you!

  21. Katie O

    November 18, 2014

    We had a boy and a girl, then decided to wait to find out what our third baby was. It was awesome! We’ll make the same decision for future babies, too. So much fun!

  22. Colleen Mercer

    November 18, 2014

    There are really no true surprises left in the busy, fast paced world we live in. But not finding out what gender your baby is, IS one of those surprises! We did not find out the gender of our one and only child because we truly didn’t care either way, we were just so happy to be parents when I was told that it would never be possible due to Endometriosis. Plus, I think this is a great example for your kids and a good way to keep them interested and happy about another sibling! They can make wagers/bets on what they think! I say good for you guys! If I was ever blessed with another, I wouldn’t find out with that one either. It’s such a special moment when your doctor announces what baby is the good ol’ fashion way!!!

  23. Stephanie

    November 18, 2014

    Have fun waiting. While I see the fun in it–I NEEDED to know. I have control issues. I know. I recognize it. I chose not to seek help. 😉 And I was obsessed with cheese dip in my last pregnancy.

  24. Monica

    November 18, 2014

    I have three daughters and I didn’t find out the gender through u/s with any of them. Here’s my favorite story about why that was important to me.

    I had a C-section with my girls. When my second daughter was born, my husband was sitting next to me. Once the dr. had the baby safely out, he said to my husband “Phil, stand up and tell Monica what you have.” I then got to hear from my husband, “It’s a girl!” I still get goose bumps when I tell that story and she’s 11. Such a special moment.

    Enjoy the next few months. Lots of time for the kids to choose names for the baby – both boy and girl names. Looking forward to the blog about that topic. LOL

    • Katy in a Corner

      November 19, 2014

      Thanks for sharing your story, Monica. I got chills as well! Such a sweet moment for you and your husband.

  25. Andrea

    November 18, 2014

    Much to the dismay of family and friends, we did not find out with our first (girl). We did find out with our second (son). I enjoyed knowing the second time, but nothing beats the anticipation of waiting till the delivery room.

  26. Julie

    November 19, 2014

    Yes, I also forgot to write once our daughter was born, my hubby was going to announce the gender. We were both certain that she had been another he, that when my hubs saw girl parts, he could only wisper, “I’s a…it’s a giiiirrrrl.” (Tears…) I, of course didn’t hear him. I did hear the nurse say, “congratulations on your baby girl!” My reaction: “whhhhhhaaatttt?! Seriously?! No way… Are you sure?!” (Tears…)
    If you really want to drive your family nuts do what we did: We felt that our (then 5 and 3 year old) should be the first to know. We told people that both mom and baby were healthy and that we would announce gender after the boys got to the hospital. My boys felt super special being the FIRST to know… And THEY loved telling/calling everyone to announce the news of their sister. 🙂


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers: