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My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
May

It’s almost like JJ knows how very, very particular I am about my calendar and said, “Hey, Averi, you know what would be reeeeeeeally hilarious? If I took a PEN and colored all over mom’s calendar. On the first day of the month. Bwahahahahahahahaha!”

And that’s how it happened.

I’m sure of it.

I have decided that, for his punishment, I’ll take JJ’s favorite cereal and eat EVERY ONE of the raisins out of it. I’ll force this kid to eat raisinless granola for the entire month of May.

And when he throws a raisin-induced tantrum, I’ll simply say, “I’m sorry, JJ, but mommy can’t go get you more raisins from the store. Because there’s not a single day on my calendar that doesn’t have something on it.”

BOOM! Roasted.

What is the worst thing your kid(s) ever colored on, and what was their punishment?

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Comments to "Crime and Punishment"

  1. Karmen

    May 2, 2013

    The sleeper loveseat (that weighed 4,000 pounds). My daughter took a purple marker to it to “make it more like Barney”. Reason #1875 to hate that prehistoric singing nightmare”. Can’t remember a punishment. All I remember is the “safe for all fabrics” cleaner lied and left a nice bleached out blotch on the arm of the couch. So we had to slipcover it.

    • katyinacorner

      May 2, 2013

      @Karmen Oh nooooo! Not the furniture! This is reason #1875 that my kids have never watched Barney. Well, there was that one time that Netflix recommended it. But we fixed that problem immediately.

  2. Katy B

    May 2, 2013

    My little boy colored on our water bill once, but I didn’t feel too bad about that…otherwise I have tried to keep any writing utensils locked up like Fort Knox…but as every Mom knows, a determined toddler will do anything to get something they aren’t supposed to have! P.S. We have the same planner! I could send you my May pages if you need them, haha.

    • katyinacorner

      May 2, 2013

      @Katy B Yessssssss! I would SO take your May pages right now. I can’t even keep it open on my desk right now. It’s annoying the mess out of me. But I guarantee you that I’ll never ever throw those pages away. Because I’m sentimental like that. 🙂

  3. Beth

    May 2, 2013

    Our youngest took Sharpie to the paneling on the wall and the piano.  Her older sister asked if we were going to lock in a cage for doing that!  Also she used a pen on our leather loveseat.  Baby wipes and toothpaste pretty much fixed it.  I don’t remember the punishments, she is 11 now!

    • katyinacorner

      May 2, 2013

      @Beth The dreaded Sharpie!!!! And on the piano?!?!?!? I would cry if my kids took a sharpie to the piano. Did the baby wipes and toothpaste get it out of the piano? Because, I’ll probably need that tip one day.

      • Beth

        May 2, 2013

        Sorry, I don’t remember how I cleaned it either! The piano has a dark finish so that helped.

  4. Lala

    May 2, 2013

    Hey Katy! 
    One time when Josh was “watching Libby” she  decided explore her artistic side and make a mural on the kitchen wall…with a Sharpie…in a house we were RENTING.  Needless to say, Josh got the stink eye that night and we had to paint that wall before we moved!

    • katyinacorner

      May 2, 2013

      @Lala Haha! Love how you said “watching Libby.” Classic.

  5. GMan

    May 2, 2013

    Katy,
    I don’t remember anything that you colored / painted on as a child. However, there was that sucking on jelly beans that you stuck in the fingers of your white gloves incident that happened one Easter Sunday. That left a permanent, colorful reminder in those gloves. Your mom still has them.
    I do have a question however, are people still using paper calendars? I didn’t know that. I might recommend getting your phone synched with a calendar that is set up on your computer. I can show you how to do that. 🙂
    Love you,
    Dad

    • katyinacorner

      May 2, 2013

      @GMan Daddy, first of all, I’m the only one who tells embarrassing stories around here. Capiche? Second, are you seriously volunteering yourself to give me a tutorial on how to sync my phone? Don’t make me start telling stories about you…  🙂

  6. Elissa R

    May 2, 2013

    Mmmmmmmm let’s see …. The walls of the house (ours and my mom’s house in Mexico), ALL of the couches in the TV room, the carpet, the wood floor stairs… Oh! and a LOT of her dolls and stuffed animals, they’re all tattooed .  And punishment mmm well, I remember the first time she colored on the walls, I “made her” clean, and then she was crying when she saw me actually doing it, I’m not sure if she felt bad for me like ” ohhhhh my poor mother is fixing up the mess I did, and I have no idea how am I going to live with this remorse for the rest of my life” or if she was just mad because, thankfully, pinterest saved the walls, and I ruined her masterpiece, but pretty much I just gave up…. I let her color on anything she wants here in the house, so I won’t have to face embarrassment in a house that’s not ours… *sighs*

    • katyinacorner

      May 2, 2013

      Elissa R I bet she was crying because of all the pain she put you through. That seems about right. 🙂 Sounds like y’all could use some washable markers in your house. What did you find on Pinterest that helped you get rid of it? Don’t you just LOVE Pinterest?

  7. imklvr

    May 2, 2013

    Uh, mom….I don’t seem to see anything on the 22nd, 25th, or 29th.  That will leave him at least a couple of weeks raisin deprived.  My kids wrote on their clothes.  Punishment?  Oh, probably yelling.  I was good at that.  I’m a grandma now and have forgotten how.   Love your dad’s advice!

    • katyinacorner

      May 2, 2013

      imklvr If I’m no longer frustrated by the 22nd, I MAY go get him some raisins. No promises, though. 🙂

  8. Jennifer Zarifeh Major

    May 2, 2013

    My kids NEVER draw on the walls. They just scrape their hockey bags through the paint and in many spots, the wall just chips right off.

  9. Karla Miranda Martinez

    May 2, 2013

    Too many places to count!!

  10. Keri Borchers Frederick

    May 3, 2013

    When my middle son was 3 he came into my room to wake me up and said come on mom I drew you a picture. I said great bring it here and he said I can’t it’s on the ottoman. Yes, my brand new leather ottoman that took 6 months to come in completely ruined with ink pen. I never threw it away. I’m saving it as a forever reminder! It will one day be in his home!

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