My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
Why Children Should NOT be Allowed in Their Parents' Bedroom

This past Sunday night, while I was busy building my dream house (on Pinterest), I heard JJ scream from upstairs, “Ooooohhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo!”

And while many mothers would rush to the aid of their child—who is in obvious peril—I waited to see if whatever it was would resolve itself. I waited…and I waited…and then I heard an unidentifiable sound.

It sounded like a jellyfish with fat thighs running in wind pants. 

But I was pretty sure that wasn’t it. Not at 10 p.m. Jellyfish don’t like to run at night.

And then I heard, “Ooooohhhhhhhhh nooooooooooo! Mama, what HAPPENED?”

That’s when I decided to leave my Pinterest dreamland and remind myself (as I ascended the stairs two at a time) why we can’t have nice things.

JJ greeted me at the top of the landing, his eyes wide with confusion. He said in his most innocent voice, “Mama, what happened to my hands?” I looked down at his glistening palms and wondered what puddle of water he managed to find near his bed—where he was supposed to be asleep two hours ago!

I calmly asked, “JJ, where did that water come from?”

He rubbed his slimy palms together and recreated the jellyfish sound. And that’s when I realized it wasn’t water at all. It was much thicker than that.

“Where did you find that…mysterious liquid?”

He walked me to my bedside table where I found a product sample I picked up at the BlogHer ’13 expo. And I say this with fear and trepidation as I know my father is reading this with the belief that I had (not one but) two immaculate conceptions:  that particular sample of bottled jellyfish goo came from the Trojan booth.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we just lost my dad.

It’s funny that out of the thousands of product samples (mouthwash, shampoo, Beano, etc.) still sitting in my bedroom awaiting their final destination, JJ would find his way to the one tube of personal lubricant. He managed to get this goo all over himself as well as my bedside table (and probably every doorknob, wall, and banister he touched along the way).

I took a deep breath, quietly led him downstairs, turned on the office light, grabbed my iPhone, took 5 photos, escorted him to the restroom, washed his hands, escorted him back upstairs to his bed, kissed his forehead, went back downstairs to my office, and proceeded to search on Pinterest for a new bedside table for my dream home.

Though, I must admit, mine has never looked so polished.


Comments to "Why Children Should Not be Allowed in Their Parents’ Bedroom"

  1. GMan

    August 14, 2013

    Uuuuggghhh. Tough read for a dad. You just never know what one might find in / on a bedside table. Let’s just say that JJ gets the plundering curiosity honestly. 🙂 You might want to consider a bedside table with locks.

  2. imklvr

    August 14, 2013

    My grt-grnd daughter perfers bag balm.  Not udder cream, which is, well, creamy.  BAG BALM….kind of a more expensive version of Vaseline.  Yeppers, last time I was visiting she did the same thing…..instead of napping.  Kids…..ya gotta love ’em.   Dona

  3. Wendy Craig Ward

    August 14, 2013

    O.M.G. I am dying laughing… you are a hoot. 🙂

  4. katyinacorner

    August 14, 2013

    imklvr BAG BALM? Sounds like a risky item to keep in a bedside table. 😉 I’m kidding! That’s really funny!

  5. katyinacorner

    August 14, 2013

    @Wendy Craig Ward Thanks Wendy! This was one of those moments that while it was happening I was already writing the blog post in my mind. I couldn’t get mad at him. It was just too funny.

  6. Nella Mcallen

    August 14, 2013

    so funny and of course pictures first 😀

  7. katyinacorner

    August 14, 2013

    @GMan Oh, daddy. So many stories to tell… 😉

  8. Karen Schmitt-Mazzaglia

    August 14, 2013

    Lol, I live in fear of this very thing.

  9. Kirsten Waltman Pirc

    August 14, 2013


  10. DarcyPerdu1

    August 14, 2013

    so funny!

  11. Jen Morash

    August 14, 2013

    friggin hilarious!

  12. Michaela Englert

    August 14, 2013

    I’m so glad these things happen to other parents, too! I could have written this myself. Lol!

  13. Judi Lynn Sutton-Miller

    August 14, 2013

    OMHeavens!!!!! I am dying laughing~

  14. katyinacorner

    August 14, 2013

    @Nella Mcallen “Pictures first, questions later.” That’s my motto. 🙂

  15. Clarice Nguyen

    August 14, 2013

    I loved the comment “grabbed my iPhone, took 5 photos” before she cleaned everything up!!! LOL

  16. Rachel Seaton Fish

    August 14, 2013


  17. Cyndi Hinesley

    August 14, 2013

    I must remember to stop drinking a beverage when reading your posts or I will always end up with liquid running out of my nose or mouth when the laughter kicks in.

  18. Julie Sippy

    August 14, 2013

    Loved this! Years ago, my son got into the diaper cream. It covered his body. Two words: water resistant.

  19. Kizz

    August 14, 2013

    Oh dad, thanks for hanging in as long as you did. Those of us who were at BlogHer knew what was coming (sorry!) and should have warned you. Next time. Promise.

  20. Stephanie King

    August 14, 2013

    Lol, note to self move something …

  21. katyinacorner

    August 14, 2013

    @Kizz He didn’t even see that one coming, poor guy! 🙂

  22. katyinacorner

    August 14, 2013

    @Clarice Nguyen I was writing the post in my head before we even got downstairs!

  23. Cathy Conaway Senko

    August 14, 2013


  24. katyinacorner

    August 14, 2013

    @Julie Sippy That is sooooo gross! I bet it was a huge mess. Reminds me of the time our old dog ate an entire tube of diaper rash cream. That was a fun 3 days. 🙂

  25. Katie

    August 16, 2013

    I’ve decided that small children just shouldn’t be allowed in the house. Rental house. Carpeted kitchen. 2 year-old. Wanted to make his own scrambled eggs. 5 dozen eggs on the carpeted kitchen floor. I still have nightmares.

  26. MonicaHerman

    August 17, 2013

    Thanks for the belly laugh.  I have a friend whose daughter pulled the condom wrapper out of the trash and glued it on her art project.

  27. LittleAnimation

    August 20, 2013

    Note to self: put away all the gear I brought home from BlogHer.

  28. maniacalmom

    August 20, 2013

    that’s why this girl has a LOCK BOX!!!

  29. katyinacorner

    August 20, 2013

    MonicaHerman Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! I just threw up a little. That is epic!

  30. katyinacorner

    August 20, 2013

    @Katie Oh wow. That hurts me to think about it!

  31. katyinacorner

    August 20, 2013

    LittleAnimation Yes, ma’am. That’s the lesson here today. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by! Great to see you!

  32. katyinacorner

    August 20, 2013

    maniacalmom Genius. Pure genius.

  33. Pingback: One Year Blogiversary (and a GIVEAWAY) | (Nobody Puts) Katy in a Corner


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