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My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
This weekend we hosted another round of family here at the Morgan Hostel. I downgraded us from a hotel or motel to a hostel since our visitors have to share a bathroom with two toddlers. And one of them (WHO IS FINALLY POTTY TRAINED, PRAISE THE LORD) doesn’t have very good aim. Also, our guests are forced to eat my questionable cooking . . . which just adds to whole “I may die if I stay here much longer” feeling.

[I think she says stuff like this to frighten away future visitors.]

Believe me, I would love to say that my cooking is intentionally questionable. 

My parents left last Sunday (February 23) after a two-week visit, and Brian’s dad and step-mom arrived Friday and stayed through the weekend. We sooooo enjoyed these visits with our families. It took the edge off of this seemingly endless winter, and it gave the kids something to look forward to other than another round of “guess how many times mommy will complain about the weather today.”

(Infinity times infinity. That’s how many times. Or at least until I can feel all ten of my toes again.)

Y’all, I’m done with this weather. I can’t remember a time when I have looked so forward to Spring—and we lived in England for 4 years, for Pete’s sake! Winter in Kansas is like a house guest that just won’t get the hint.

“Hey, Winter, don’t you miss sleeping in your own bed?”

[Wait, didn’t Katy’s parents and in-laws JUST leave? That’s poor timing for a house guest metaphor.]

YOU GUYS…that’s not even what I meant! We would have been happy if all of our guests had stayed another 2 weeks. Just ask my dad.

Bugging Out

Never mind. He’s unavailable right now.

We had a wonderful time with both sets of family even though the kids did manage to catch a bit of a bug between visits. We began to notice the coughing and runny noses last Wednesday. But none of their symptoms were alarming enough to postpone my in-laws’ visit. I didn’t even check WebMD. I KNOW. So, it couldn’t have been all that bad. Still, I made the mistake of telling both JJ and Averi that a “little bug” caused their runny noses.

Why didn’t I just go ahead and tell them there is a monster under their beds, too? A three-headed monster with razor blade teeth and machete claws. 

JJ spent three solid days in hysterics because he had a BUG IN HIS NOSE, OH NOOOOOO! And since Averi repeats every word that comes out of JJ’s mouth, I had two screaming toddlers on my hands who demanded to know how I planned to carefully remove this bug from their noses. They were both quite adamant that this process should not involve the “blue sucking thing.”

Make that a three-headed monster with razor blade teeth and nasal aspirator claws.

It took a whole lot of consoling and days of explanation, but I finally convinced them both that the bug to which I referred was microscopic and will not come crawling out of their faces during a nap or anything. (Though, I did WebMD that first to make sure it was accurate.)

But it took every ounce of self-control I had to not tell them about the woman who had spiders living in her tongue. Or maybe it was cockroach eggs. Regardless, I haven’t licked an envelope in about 15 years.

I also haven’t opened any email forwards.

How many of you got that spider/cockroach forward? I bet you haven’t licked an envelope since then either, am I right?

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Comments to "Bugging Out"

  1. G-Man

    March 4, 2014

    Kids! They can be so literal sometimes. Thanks for posting that speak no evil picture of me. It’s so flattering don’t you think?

  2. Drew

    March 12, 2014

    My daughter doesn’t lick cockroaches, she just swallows them whole. Crunchier that way!

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