My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:
I mentioned on my various social media accounts yesterday that JJ, our 4-year-old, wished Brian a very happy “Fodder’s Day.”

Happy "Fodder's Day"

It’s almost like he knew about this blog and that Brian provides me with an infinite amount of fodder for it.

For example, have I told you about the time Brian asked me to find his “argoyle” socks? As in, a cross between argyle and a cement demon figure that adorns every chapel in Europe.

Or the time we were in the middle of a budget meeting and he wanted to discuss our “transgressionary income.” As in, the excess money we have each month that we choose to spend . . . while we sin.

I’ll admit that I pick on my husband constantly, but it’s his fault that he’s so stinking cute when he’s publicly humiliated.

Totally kidding, y’all.

I would need more than 15 readers for this blog to be considered “public.”

And speaking of public, if your social media feeds looked like mine last week, you were struck with a virtual tidal wave of vintage photos of your acquaintances’ fathers in plaid polyester.

Don’t get me wrong, every Father’s Day social media tribute I read was super sweet. Sweet like a Krispy Kreme donut. But if you eat 37 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, you spend the rest of the day throwing up and cursing Krispy Kreme, am I right?

It’s almost like the sappy Facebook status update is the new Hallmark card. Only, we’re all forced to read each other’s Hallmark cards on EVERY. SINGLE. HOLIDAY.

[Forced? I never said you had to be my Facebook friend, you jerk.]

I think Hallmark needs to revisit their business model and offer Facebook status update templates. For $6.99, this could be your status update:

“Daddy, I still remember when I would dance on top of your feet. Thanks to your love and support, I now dance on top of the world.”

Cue the dry heaves. 

Given the onslaught of sappiness that invades blogs and social media on every major holiday, I debated whether I should even publish a post-Father’s Day post in addition to my own sappy social media tributes.

My Daddy and Me

[So, she makes fun of sappy posts even though she does them herself?]

I didn’t say I was immune, people. I may be sick of Krispy Kreme, but I’m still gonna pull the car over when I see the hot light.

If you’re keeping track, the past 400 words serve as a disclaimer. In other words you’re about to eat 37 dozen donuts.


My Beloved Brian,

The first time I looked into your walnut-brown eyes I knew that . . .

Kidding, y’all. I won’t make you read that.


Dear Brian,

I’d like to take a break from my usual sarcasm to tell you why I believe you are an incredible dad. Not just that you are an incredible dad, but why. So, I compiled a list of 5 things incredible dads DON’T do.

5 Things Incredible Dads DON'T Do

1) Incredible dads DON’T forget that their most important earthly relationship is with the mother of their children.

You know I have a terrible memory, but I can vividly remember feelings and emotions. I can still remember the way it felt to see my dad come home from work and embrace my mom. I remember what it felt like to know that they were crazy about each other. I remember the security I felt because I knew that they were committed to their vows despite any obstacle they might face.

That is what you have given our children. I see the way they look at us when we laugh together. I watch their eyes light up when you hug and kiss me before you leave for work. I love it that they see you bring me coffee and sometimes breakfast in bed. And though they often complain, I think they will always remember that their daddy took time out of his week—every week—to take their mom on a date.

It’ll be our little secret that we spend at least half of that time in silence . . . just to remember the sound.

2) Incredible dads DON’T leave all the household responsibilities to mom.

I think it’s pretty remarkable that the most annoying thing you do at home is to stack paperwork on our shared desk. Seriously. That’s it. You don’t sit on the sofa while I clean the kitchen. You don’t stare at your computer while I do laundry. You don’t hit golf balls while I parent our children. You are FULLY engaged. You cook, you clean, you do laundry, you entertain the kids, you bathe the kids, and you wake up in the middle of the night to clean up messes.

Some wives joke that their husbands are just additional children they have to care for, and that breaks my heart. You truly are a partner, a helpmate. I am grateful for the way you shoulder such a heavy load in order to lighten mine. You are the epitome of a servant leader.

3) Incredible dads DON’T know they’re incredible dads.

I know you don’t necessarily love it when I offer “gentle suggestions” for how to parent our children, but I can tell that you value my input more than your own pride. You have no idea how much that means to me. Your humility is most evident in your teachable spirit. I can’t even count the number of times you’ve said, “I want to know what you think because I don’t know what I’m doing.”

The truth is that I don’t know what I’m doing either. But your willingness to admit your flaws and to seek help (from God’s word, me, and others) is what makes you such an incredible dad.

4) Incredible dads DON’T squander the precious, little moments they have with their family. 

When you got rid of your smartphone nearly two years ago, I saw an instant change in your level of engagement with me and our children. You were less concerned about baseball scores, mindless games, and social media. Your focus shifted, instead, to teaching JJ to play baseball, playing board games, and teaching our children to socialize like human beings. Our kids know that when you are with them, you are fully present.

fodder_13 fodder_12 fodder_11 fodder_10 fodder_09 fodder_08 fodder_07 fodder_03

I’ll admit that I fail miserably in this department. My attention is so divided that I will go hours and not make eye contact with another human (and there are three of them who basically hang from my limbs all day). I admire your willingness to fully engage with us. I humbly ask for your prayers that I will resist the urge to squander what little time we have with our precious children.

5) Incredible dads DON’T forget to lead their family in worship. 

I know that this one doesn’t come as easily for you since you are a fairly-new Christian, but I am encouraged by your desire to lead our family in God-honoring worship. I love to hear you pray with and for our children. I love to pray with you every night before we fall asleep. I can’t describe the joy I have when you share something with me that you learned during your own personal study. I’m astounded by what God has done in your life, and I am grateful that you are leading our family in a Biblical way.


Thank you, Brian. Thank you for your demonstrative love, help, humility, time, and leadership. Thank you for being an incredible dad. And thank you for being an endless supply of good blog fodder.

Thanks to your love and support, I now dance on top of the world.



Now, who’s in the mood for some Krispy Kreme?


Comments to "5 Things Incredible Dads DON’T Do"

  1. Dona

    June 16, 2014

    Oh, how beautiful and perfect! #1 is the most important, along with #5. Hand in hand. Wonderful post. Wish every child in the world had a family like yours.

  2. Karmen

    June 16, 2014

    GREAT tribute and a fabulously honest list! You know, it breaks my heart how very little some dads have to do with their homelife but I hear and see it all the time. It does make it all the more precious when we have a guy willing to engage. So great that you told him. I need to as well. Thanks for the inspiration!
    Karmen recently posted…The Story about the Hot Dog, Wedding Rings, Blood Blister and the Letter “J”My Profile

  3. Terri

    June 16, 2014

    I love your words, I love your pictures, and I love your husband…
    Brian’s mom


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers: