My Professional Background - Once upon a time, I wanted to be a motivational speaker. Actually, I was a professional motivational speaker for about 5 years.:

Monthly Archives

March 2013
Sick and Tired, I Have No Idea

Having a kid is not unlike inviting a walking, peeing, pooping, whining, vomiting germ into your home.

I mean that in the most loving way possible.

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Morganizing the House, Genuine Fake

I was on the phone with one of my best girlfriends several weeks ago when she asked why I sounded so “winded.” If I had been on my toes, I could have convinced her that I was on a stair climber. But in actuality, I was cleaning out my closet with the help of the world’s tiniest step stool. And I just didn’t have the stamina.

This is why I have the muscle tone of a jellyfish.

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Fun and Games

One day, when my children learn to use a camera and photo editing software, I’m in BIG trouble. Read more →

Flying Monkey Bread

As I walked alone through the produce department of my local grocery store (as SLOWLY as possible…because, I repeat, I was ALONE), I just barely heard something from the bottom of my purse whistling The Andy Griffith Show theme song. No tune could better describe the person on the other end of that ringtone, and it always makes me smile to hear it. With his warm Southern drawl, loving spirit, and willingness to live his life in a mental “Mayberry” of sorts, my dad is basically a real-life Andy Griffith. Minus the badge. And the jolly, old aunt who does everything for him.

Because he has my mom for that

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I give it a week before WebMD confirms this is an actual condition.

And then a drug company picks up on it and develops a medicated cream called Prescription Scribeoflex.

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